Season Six

Dawn: What?
Spike: Oh, nothing. Just, uh, looked like fun. I'm just saying.

The tower was built by crazy people and I don't think it's holding up very well.

You remember what Mom used to say? "Either wash that neck or plant potatoes." Yeah, I never thought it was funny, either.

She's been through a lot with the... death. But I think she's okay.

Dawn: What's the list?
Anya: Possible hitchhikers.
Xander: Demons that might have come out of hell the same time Buffy did.
Dawn: (reading) "Skaggmore demons, Trellbane demons, skitterers, large and small bone-eaters." If we get to pick, I say we go with the small bone-eaters.
Anya: Well, that just means they prefer to eat things with small bones. Like you.

Anya: Well, that's four -- what's the other one like?
Tara: Oh, like the others, only dripping with viscous fluid.
Dawn: Eww.

Dawn: Xander, drive faster.
Xander: I can't.
Dawn: I could drive faster and I can't drive.
Anya: She's right. You're like a snail. A snail who's driving a car very slowly.

That's probably the sort of thing I'm not supposed to see, right?

Dawn: Are you okay?
Buffy: I'm going to start charging money for every person that asks me that.

Dawn: Man! How much water can they fit in one set of pipes?
Tara: If I understand right: the entire city water supply.
Willow: It's like little clown cars at the circus.

Dawn: So, what do we do?
Buffy: Easy! We burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance. Plus: Fire - pretty!
(they all *look* at her)
Buffy: You guys? ...I'm kidding.

Anya: It's not *so* crazy.
Dawn: Yes it is! You can't charge innocent people for saving their lives!
Anya: Spiderman does!
Dawn: He does not.
Anya: Does too!
Dawn: Does no... Xander?
Xander: Action is his reward.

Dawn: You know, if you don't let me look at the pictures, I'm gonna learn everything I know about demons on the street!
Tara: Knock yourself out.
Dawn: Thank you! See? No biggie. I can totally handle it. (opens book) That's a weird place for a horn.... (slowly closes book) It's not a horn.

Dawn: This? I'm guessing on how you say it, it's got an apostrophe. I think it's 'Mmm-Fashnik', like 'Mmmm, cookies'.
Xander: Or maybe 'Muh-Fashnik, like 'Muh-....Fashnik'.

Giles: M'Fashnik, oh.
Dawn: Ah ha! Like 'Mmm-cookies!'
Giles: Ah, no, quite different actually.

Giles: Dawn? Couldn't sleep?
Dawn: Not really. You?
Giles: Evidently not.
Dawn: You ever try mixing parts of every cereal you've got in one bowl?
Giles: Does it work?
Dawn: Gonna find out. Want to come join the experiment?
Giles: Why don't I be your control group. You find as you get older that you lose patience with throwing up.

Xander: That's it! Four hours. I'm calling it, people. This coffee table, it's gone. Dammit!
Dawn: Also, this lamp's in critical condition.
Willow: Well, let's take these things to the trash and give them a decent throwin' out!

Dawn: I bet it's creditors. The hounding's begun. I read about it. So, you think we'll starve?
Giles: I very much doubt it.
Dawn: No chance I'd have to quit school to work assembling cheap toys in a poorly-ventilated sweatshop?
Giles: 'Poorly-ventilated sw...' What *have* you been reading?

Dawn: You do this every night?
Anya: Every time I close out the cash register. The dance of capitalist superiority.

Dawn: Can I try it on?
Anya: Oh, absolutely not.

Buffy: How many other things have changed since I've been gone?
Dawn: I got a tattoo.
Buffy: What?!
Willow: Which is why we told her "no."
Dawn: Just a little one?
Buffy: Over my dead body. The kind that doesn't come back.

Janice: So?
Dawn: He's okay.
Janice: "Ho hum" okay, or like, "Oh my god, I think I'm gonna pee my pants!" okay?
Dawn: Pee.

Justin: And so begins her life of crime.
Dawn: You're a little late. I steal all the time.
Justin: Really?
Dawn: Totally. I haven't paid for lipstick since... forever.
Justin: Oh, be still my heart. Cute *and* bad.

Shiver me timbers!

I've been kissed before. I kiss all the time. Not that I'm a kiss slut. Just, you know, with the lips and the pressing together and stuff. Hey, expert here! Okay, okay, it was my first kiss! I know, I know, I suck. My lips are dry and my tongue's all horrible and sticky and I'm pretty sure I drooled on you.

Buffy: Were you parking? With a vamp?
Dawn: I didn't know he was dead.
Justin: Living dead.
Dawn: Shut up!
Buffy: How could you not know?
Dawn: I just met him.
Buffy: Oh, so you went parking in the woods with a boy you just met.

Dawn: Oh, like you've never fallen for a vampire?
Buffy: That was different.

Dawn: This the part where you tell me you're not angry, just disappointed?
Giles: Pretty much, except for the bit about not being angry.

Dawn: Oh, my god. You will never believe what happened at school today.
Buffy: Everybody started singing and dancing?
Dawn: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.
Anya: Oh my god, did it sing?

Xander: So what'd you sing about?
Dawn: Math.

Dawn: Besides, it's all kind of romantic.
Xander & Buffy: No, it's not.

It gives me belly rumblings when you guys fight.

Yes, the 15-year-old can spend half-an-hour alone in her locked house.

The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.

You don't want to miss the lowdown on our latest featured creature.

Dawn: So what do we got?
Giles: Sorry?
Dawn: What kind of oogly-booglies? Lizardy types, or zombies, or vampires, or what?
Giles: There are no oogly-booglies, Dawn.

Giles: Well, maybe we all got terribly drunk and this is some sort of blackout.
Dawn: I don't think I drink.
Anya: I don't see any booze. I don't feel any head bumps. I don't see Allen Funt.

Dawn: So, you don't have a name?
Buffy: Of course I do. I just don't happen to know it.

Buffy: I'll name me... Joan.
Dawn: Ugh.
Buffy: What? Did you just "ugh" my name?
Dawn: No. I just... I mean, it's so blah. "Joan"?
Buffy: I like it. I feel like a Joan.

(in unison) Buffy: Boy, you're a pain in the... Dawn: Boy, you're bossy...
Dawn: Do you think we're...?
Buffy: Sisters?

Willow: How you doin', Dawn?
Dawn: I'm okay. It's scary, but weirdly, kinda familiar.
Willow: I know what you mean.
Dawn: How are you?
Willow: A little confused. I mean, I'm all sweaty, and trapped, no memory, hiding in a pipe from a vampire... and I think I'm kinda gay.

Tara: Good god, that's a lot of shake. I mean, I know, part of our big movie-and-milkshake fun day, but... good god, that's a lot of milkshake!
Dawn: Helps to wash down the Raisinettes.
Tara: Promise me that you will eat something green tonight? Leafy green, not gummi green.

Dawn: It was ironic when all those cute inner-city kids taught their coach a valuable lesson.
Tara: You know that I will always be there for you, right? (pause) There-there was actually more of a lead-in when I practiced that at home.

Tara: God, I just closed my eyes for a minute.
Dawn: And now there's cartoons. Plus a mother of all-night wedgies.
Tara: Uh-oh.
Dawn: It's not tragic. I'm sure as soon as I stand up...

What if they're all in a ditch somewhere? Ditches are bad. Mom always used to talk about the ditches.

Willow: Or you could do it the hard way.
Dawn: Spatulas are for wimps.

I think she's feeling all Joan Crawford 'cause of the other night.

Right. Assume would make "U" an "ass" out of "me". Or, um, something.

I'll leave a note for Buffy on the refrigerator. That's the first place she goes after patrolling. She's such a pig after she kills things.

Willow: So, the burger was good, you liked it?
Dawn: Are you kidding? It was like a meat party in my mouth. Okay, now, I'm just a kid, and even *I* know that came out wrong.

Willow: Oh, no, it's okay. He's not real.
Dawn: Seems real. Very real.

DAWN: Candles? We can't have candles?
BUFFY: Dawn, it's a magic clearance. Everything must go.
DAWN: But they're just candles!
BUFFY: Well, yeah, you know, to you and me they're just candles. But to witches, they're like... bongs.

Doublemeat Palace

DAWN: My friend Janice, her sister's a lawyer.
XANDER: You think I should sue over the burger? That's interesting.
DAWN: No, I just mean... Buffy's never going to be a lawyer, or a doctor - anything big.
XANDER: She's the Slayer. She saves the whole world. That's way bigger.
DAWN: But that means she's gonna have, like, crap jobs her whole life, right? Minimum wage stuff. I mean, I could still grow up to be anything. But for her, this is it?
XANDER: Okay, but maybe you'll be a lawyer or a doctor, and you can use all your money to support your deadbeat sister.
DAWN: Oh, that's terrifically better. Thanks.

DAWN: We're doing chemistry.
ANYA: Oh. So sorry I hurried.

Dead Things

BUFFY: Where are you going?
DAWN: Sleeping over at Janice's.
BUFFY: And I'm falling for that again because of the surprise lobotomy?

Older and Far Away

XANDER: So, anything new about Warren and the nerd herd?
DAWN: No, just a big monster hunt.
XANDER: Man, a nerd goes into hiding, he really goes into hiding.

DAWN: So, what about you guys?
ANYA: Stuck in doing-the-books-ville.

People have a tendency to go away... and I miss them. And sometimes... I wish I could just make them stop going away.

DAWN: So you've all just decided that somehow I'm responsible. Great. Here's me basking in the love.
XANDER: No, it's just, you know, you're upset 'cause we want to leave, and now we can't leave. Only thing missing is a cornfield. There- there isn't a cornfield, is there?

You sound like my guidance counselor. Did she give you a handbook or something? Talking to the Troubled Teen?

As You Were

WILLOW: Dawnie and I are headed out to the Bronze.
DAWN: Do I have your permission, and wanna come along? You like how I slipped in that permission request like that?
WILLOW: Very smooth.

WILLOW: So how are Mr. and Mrs. High-Strung?
DAWN: I'm betting they explode.

WILLOW: But if I did call, she wouldn't hang up on me.
DAWN: That's progress.
WILLOW: Hence the happy.

Bronze was fun last night. In a total home-by-elevenish kind of way.

BUFFY: So who's hungry? We got...
DAWN: Ice cubes.
BUFFY: All you can eat.

Hell's Bells

D'HOFFRYN: Hymen's greetings.
DAWN: Hy-what?
D'HOFFRYN: Hymen, the god of matrimony. His salutations upon you. May the love we celebrate today avoid an almost inevitable decline.

DAWN: I can put this on the table for you.
D'HOFFRYN: Oh, thank you. Careful, it's, uh...
DAWN: Fragile?
D'HOFFRYN: Squirmy.

Normal Again

BUFFY: I'm okay, Dawn.
DAWN: The thousand-yard stare really helps sell that.

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