Buffy Vs. Dracula

Xander: "I'm exhausted just looking at those two. All this splashing and jumping and running... shouldn't relaxing involve less exertion?"
Anya: "Absolutely. Exertion can lead to sweatiness."
Tara: "Which can cause the pain and heartbreak of stinkiness. Better to just stay put."
Willow: "I think we've just put our finger on why we're the sidekicks."

Tara: "You thought Dracula was sexy?"
Willow: "Oh, no. He, he was... yuch."
Anya: "Right, except for the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing... yucko."

Out Of My Mind

Tara: "Hmmm."
Willow: "What do you see?"
Tara: "Willow hands."

Tara: "How'd you do that with the light?"
Willow: "Oh, you know, you taught me."
Tara: "I taught you a teeny tinkerbell light."
Willow: "Okay, so I tinkered with the tinkerbell."

Family

Willow: "Tell me a story."
Tara: "Okay. Once upon a time, there was a kitty. She was very little and she was all alone and nobody wanted her."
Willow: "This is a very upsetting story."
Tara: "Oh, oh, but it gets better. 'Cause one day the kitty was running around the street and a man came and swooped her up and took her to the pound. And at the pound there were lots of other kitties, and there were puppies, and some ferrets."
Willow: "Were there dolphins?"
Tara: "Yes, many dolphins at the pound."
Willow: "Was there a camel?"
Tara: "There was the front of a camel. A half-camel."
Willow: "Did the kitty get chosen by some nice people?"
Tara: "Well, now you've ruined the ending."

Willow: "I don't need to be snuggled."
Tara: "Vixen."

Tara: "Yeah, you learn her source, and we'll introduce her to her insect reflection. (everyone stops & stares at her) Th-that was funny if you, um, studied taglarin mythic rites... and are a complete dork."
Riley: "Then how come Xander didn't laugh?"
Xander: "I don't know that taglarin stuff."
Riley: "Oh."

Spike: "Why don't I make this simple." (punches Tara)
Tara: "Ow!"
Spike: "Ow!" (clutches head)

Tara: "He hurt my nose."
Spike: "Yeah, you're welcome."

Tara: "'Cause your insect reflection reflects your insignificance in terms of the karmic cycle."
Anya: (thinks) "But it's still not funny."

Tara: "Even when I'm at my worst, you always make me feel special. How do you do that?"
Willow: "Magic."

Shadow

Tara: "'Your one-stop spot to shop for all your occult needs.' Catchy."
Giles: "You think so?"
Tara: "Uh-huh. In a hard-to-read sort of way, but I think it's great."

Listening To Fear

Willow: "You know what's weird?"
Tara: "Japanese commercials are weird."

Willow: "There's Canis Minor, and Cassiopeia."
Tara: "And the Big Pineapple."
Willow: "Um, you know, I'm not sure I remember that one..."

Tara: "The real ones never made sense to me. I sort of have my own."
Willow: "Teach me."
Tara: "See those stars over there? 'Short man looking uncomfortable.' 'A moose getting a sponge bath.' 'Little pile o' crackers.' That... that was a bit of a stretch. You do it. What would you call... that one."
Willow: "Let's see. A huge flaming meteor about to crash into something!"

Triangle

Willow: "We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane."
Tara: "I said 'quirky.'"

Tara: "Hellebore. One of my favorites."
Willow: "It's powerful stuff. I tried to use it to de-rat Amy and it didn't work, but I think it might have made her really smart. She keeps giving me these looks like she's planning something, rubbing her paws together."

Willow: "There Buffy is, middle of the night, and she finds this whole nest of vamps. And then she just goes 'Presto!'"
Tara: "Only it won't be 'Presto', exactly."
Willow: "And voomph! There's a floating ball of sunlight. Vamps get dusty."
Tara: "You don't want to look right at it, though."

Buffy: "Xander left Anya?"
Tara: "No... Not left her, left her. He just left. It was only a little thing, really."
Buffy: "Little thing? See, the thing is, little things get bigger. You know? And, and if you don't catch the little thing, and then boom! You have this whole huge thing! Not them, with the little things. They can't break up! They have a beautiful love."
Tara: "I think they'll be fine."
Buffy: (sobbing) "They have a miraculous love!"

Blood Ties

Willow: "This is exactly what you need. A 20th birthday party with... with presents and funny hats and those candles that don't blow out. Those used to scare me."
Tara: "Me too."

"She... she's a brain sucker?"

Tara: "We thought you'd get lots of crossbows and other killy stuff."
Willow: "Yeah, so we figured, less killy, more frilly."

Crush

Tara: "Also, you can tell it's not gonna have a happy ending when the main guy's all bumpy."
Willow: "What did you think, Buffy?"
Buffy: "Test isn't until tomorrow, right? I don't have an opinion till then."
Willow: "But you read it, right?"
Buffy: "Kind of not. I rented the movie."
Tara: "Oh, with Charles Laughton?"
Buffy: "I don't know. Was he one of the singing gargoyles?"
Willow: "Oh, boy."
Buffy: "I'm kidding!"

I Was Made to Love You

Tara: "Willow's good with all that computer stuff, but me not so much. Do you really understand all that?"
Anya: "Oh, well at first it was confusing. Just the idea of computers was like, 'Whoa, I'm 1100 years old.' I had trouble adjusting to the idea of Lutherans."
Tara: "I go on-line sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad. It's depressing."

Tara: "At least she didn't do too much damage."
Xander: "Are you kidding? Double-glazed glass ain't cheap. And the jamb needs to be completely repaired. Oh, dear god, I'm the grown-up who sees the world through my job. I'm like my Uncle Dave the plumber, and I must be shunned."
Willow: "Okay."

Buffy: "This may sound dumb, but I kind of got the impression that she was a--"
Tara: "Robot."
Xander & everyone: "Oh yeah, robot."

Buffy: "Tonight, I better go back and rescue Giles. He's been watching Dawn while my Mom's out on her date. And I have a feeling there's only so much he can take."
Tara: "Oh, Giles and Dawny? I bet they ended up having a blast."

"Oh, baby. Want me to rub your tummy? She likes it when I-- Uh, stop explaining things."

Anya: "No, I mean, it's a myth that it's a myth. There is a Santa Claus."
Xander: "The advantage of having a thousand-year-old girlfriend. Inside scoop."
Tara: "There's a Santa Claus?"
Anya: "Mm-hmm. Been around since, like, the 1500s. But he wasn't always called Santa. But with, you know, Christmas night, flying reindeer, coming down the chimney -- all true."
Dawn: "All true?"
Anya: "Well, he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as, you know, disembowel children. But otherwise..."

Forever

Willow: "The only thing is, it will get better, I promise."
Dawn: "You don't know that."
Tara: "Sure she does! We're witches. We know stuff."

Intervention

Tara: "Oh yeah, Willow wants to watch this thing on The History Channel tonight -- Salem witch trial stuff, which is only gonna get her all upset."
Anya: "I was there. It really wasn't that bad. See if you were really a witch you'd do a spell to escape. So really it was only bad for the falsely accused, and, well, they never have a good time."

Willow: "Those darn Salem judges, with their Less-Satanic-Than-Thou attitudes!"
Tara: "Oh honey, let's change it. The Discovery Channel has koala bears."

Tara: "Everyone? Before we jump all over her: People do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother I did some pretty dumb stuff, like lying to my family and staying out all night."
Anya: "Buffy's boinking Spike."
(pause) Willow: "Oh... well, Tara's right. Grief can be powerful... and we shouldn't judge..."
Tara: "What, are you kidding? She's nuts!"

Tara: "You aren't really going to slap her, are you?"
Xander: "No, but if I have to see her straddle Spike one more time I will definitely knock myself unconscious."

Tough Love

Willow: "I'd be totally blowing off classes if I were in Dawny's shoes."
Tara: "Sweetie, you wouldn't blow off a class if your head was on fire."

"No, please! I mean, tell me if I said something wrong. Otherwise I know I'll say it again -- probably often and in public."

Tara: "Is that 'no' spelled 'y-e-s'?"
Willow: "S-o-r-t of."

Tara: "No! The place is cracking! It's cracking. Cracking! No, oh, no!"
Dawn: "No, Tara, It's o.k."
Tara: (looking at her) "Look at that. Look at that! Oh, the light! So pure. Such pure green energy! It's so beautiful..."

Spiral

(re: Dawn) "So pretty! Can I have one?"

Tara: (looking out window) Horsies!"
Willow: "Tara!"

The Weight of the World

The Gift

Tara: (to Giles) "You're a killer! This is all set down."