Season Four

This Year's Girl

Buffy: "If I were her, I'd get out of Dodge, post-hasty."
Faith: "You're not me."

Buffy: "I've been looking for you."
Faith: "I've been standing still for eight months, B. How hard you look?"

Faith: "That's the thing about a coma. You wake up all rested and rejuvenated, and ready for payback."
Buffy: "So much for pleasantries, huh?"
Faith: "What'd you think, I'd wake up and we'd go for tea? You tried to gut me, Blondie."

"Try it, Red, and you lose an arm."

"I wake up to find this blond chick isn't even dating the guy she was so nuts about before. I mean, she's moved on to the first college beefstick she meets. And not only has she forgotten about the love of her life, she's forgotten all about the chick she nearly killed for him. So that's my dream. That and some stuff about cigars and a tunnel."

Faith: "Payback's a bitch."
Willow: "Look who's talking."

"'Sunset' ... 'Burgundy Skyline'? 'Harlot.' Mm, way to go, Joyce."

Faith: "Anyway, for real now, I'm gonna ask you something, and you gotta promise you'll be honest and not spare my feelings just 'cause I could kill you. You promise?"
Joyce: "I promise."
Faith: "Okay. How do I look?"
Joyce: "Psychotic."
Faith: "Hmmm, I was shooting for sultry, but hey..."

Faith: "You're thinking, 'You'll never get away with this!' Warm?"
Joyce: "Actually, I was thinking my daughter is going to kill you soon."
Faith: "That a fact?"
Joyce: "More like a bet."
Faith: "Whoa. You got a pair on you, Joyce. I like seeing that in a woman your age."

"I mean, you're her mother, and she just leaves you here to die."

Faith: "Thought I'd got to the clean marine, didn't you? He's a cutie. Looks like he could use a good roll in the sack."
Buffy: "You're not his type. He's not big on sleaze."
Faith: "He's probably just never tried it."

Joyce: "You sure you're okay?"
Buffy (Faith): "Five-by-five."

Who Are You?

Cop: "I'm glad we finally got the kid."
Buffy (Faith): "She's not a kid. I just mean that she's very strong."
Cop: "Yeah. This Faith chick - definitely dangerous."
Buffy (Faith): "She truly is."

Joyce: "Faith... why do you think she's like that?"
Buffy (Faith): "Well, you know, she's a nut job."

Joyce: "I think she's horribly unhappy."
Buffy (Faith): "Well, could be things are looking up. I mean, the little stint in the pokey, show her the error of her ways. I'm sure there's some big old Bertha just waiting to shower her ripe little self with affection."
Joyce: "Buffy!"

Joyce: "I've missed you."
Buffy (Faith): "'Cause I haven't visited, right? I knew it."

"Why, yes, I would be Buffy. May I help you? Buf-fy. You can't do that - it's wrong. You can't do that because it's naughty. Because it's wrong. Because it's wrong. You can't do that. It's wrong, I'll kick your ass. I'm gonna kill you."

Giles: "It's about Faith, not surprisingly."
Buffy (Faith): "Didn't Joyce tell you? I already kicked that ass."
Xander: "I feel a high-five coming on."

Buffy (Faith): "Cops took her off my hands about an hour ago. Poetic justice."
Anya: "How's that?"
Buffy (Faith): "Well, she did all those crimes, and now she's being arrested. I guess that's just regular justice."

"Faith is evil."

Xander: "We kind of have a romantic evening planned."
Anya: "We were gonna light a bunch of candles and have sex near them."
Buffy (Faith): "Well, we certainly don't want to cut into that seven minutes."
Anya: "Hey!"
Xander: "I believe that's my 'hey.' Hey!"

Spike: "Oh, you."
Buffy (Faith): "And... you."
Spike: "What, are you keeping tabs on me? You're gonna give me a hard time now?"
Buffy (Faith): "Do I usually give you a hard time?"
Spike: "Very funny. Well, you don't have to worry about me drinking, unless you're here to protect innocent beers."
Buffy (Faith): "You're a vampire."
Spike: "Was. And as soon as I get this chip out of my head, I'll be a vampire again. But until then, I'm just as helpless as a kitten up a tree, so why don't you sod off?"
Buffy (Faith): "Okay."
Spike: "Oh, fine! Throw it in my face! 'Spike's not a threat any more. I'll turn my back. He can't hurt me.'"
Buffy (Faith): "Spike... Spike! William the Bloody with a chip in his head. I kind of love this town."
Spike: "You know why I really hate you, Summers?"
Buffy (Faith): "'Cause I'm a stuck-up tight-ass with no sense of fun?"
Spike: "Well, yeah, that covers a lot of it."
Buffy (Faith): "'Cause I could do anything I want, and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness? I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous, I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike."

"I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne, and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? Because it's wrong."

"Willow's not driving stick anymore. Who would have thought?"

"Faith has won a fabulous trip to England, and I got the consolation prize, which is you."

Buffy (Faith): "Maybe we should take you for a test drive."
Riley: "I wouldn't say no."
Buffy (Faith): "So, how do you want me?"

Riley: "What are we playing at here?"
Buffy (Faith): "I'm Buffy."
Riley: "Okay. Then I'll be Riley."

Buffy (Faith): "How did you respond so fast?"
Riley: "I didn't. I was just late for church."

"Someone comes out, you get 'em to safety, unless they've got fangs."