<div align="center"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">-Isms - Willow Rosenberg

Willow: "That's right, big boy. Come and get it."
Xander: "Get him! Any time now..."

"He's getting away! And, ow."

Xander: "First of all, what was with the acrobatics? How did that happen?"
Oz: "Wasn't Andy Hoelich on the gymnastics team?"
Xander: "That's right, he was. Cheater! Okay, and the second problem I'm having... 'Come and get it, big boy'?"
Willow: "Well, the Slayer always says a pun or a witty play on words, and I think it throws the vampires off and it makes 'em frightened because I'm wisecracking, okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one but you try it every time!"
Oz: "If I may suggest: "This time, it's personal." I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic."
Xander: "I've always been amazed with how Buffy fought, but in a way, I feel like we took her punning for granted."
Willow: "Xander! Past tense rule!?"

"Oh, I'm going to be busy a lot, but only 'til three, and that's when you usually get up."

Xander: "I can't wait to see Cordelia! I can't believe I can't wait to see Cordelia."
Willow: "I wonder what our first homework assignment's going to be! Hey, you're excited over Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues."

Willow: "We still have some glitches in the system... like vampires getting away. But I think we're improving!"
Giles: "For god's sake be careful. I mean, I appreciate your efforts to keep the vampire population down until Buffy returns, but if anything should happen to you... should be killed, I'd take it somewhat amiss."
Willow: "You'd be cranky?"
Giles: "Entirely."
Willow: "Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement: 'Don't get killed.'"

Oz: "Well, it's sort of a funny story. You remember when I didn't graduate?"
Willow: "Well, I know you had a lot of incompletes, but that's what summer school was for."
Oz: "Yeah. Well, you remember when I didn't go?"

Willow: "But you never said anything! How am I supposed to react to this rather alarming news?"
Oz: "Well, actually, I was pretty much banking on you finding it cute."
Willow: "Well, traditionally, you know, repeating a grade isn't exactly a turn-on. And you're practically a genius! You're Mr. Test-Scores." It's all a little weird."
Oz: "So the cute thing is out?"

Xander: "I don't want to come on too geeky, but, uh... okay, I'm psyched. There's gonna be some heat, if you know what I mean, so you guys might want to duck and cover. And I'm starting to be geeky. Okay, bye. How's my..."
Willow: "Your hair is fine."

Willow: "I'm trying to get to cute, really, but I'm still sort of stuck on strange."
Oz: "Well, I'd be willing to bargain down to eccentric, with an option on cool."

Xander: "Boy, I'm glad we showed up for depressing night."
Willow: "I wonder what she's doing right now?"
Xander: "Oh, I know what she's doing. Gabbing to all of her friends about her passionate affair with Pedro the cabana-boy. Laughing about me, thinking how she still might have feelings about me. Oh, it's possible you're talking about Buffy."
Willow: "It's possible."

Xander: "Yeah, the slaying isn't getting any easier, either."
Oz: "I don't know, I think we're kinda getting a rhythm down."
Xander: "We're losing half the vamps."
Oz: "Yeah, but... rhythmically."
Willow: "We just need to work on our timing, I think."
Xander: "Well, I know what we need."
Oz: "A vampire Slayer?"
Xander: "Next best thing... bait."

Willow: "We dusted nine out of ten."
Oz: "Six out of ten."
Willow: "Six out of ten."

"You're leaving again? What, you just stopped by for your lint brush and now you're ready to go?"

"Oh no, have a great time. Oh, oh, and don't forget to not write."

Buffy: "I'm trying."
Willow: "Wow, and it looks so much like giving up."

"I, I'm having all sorts of... I'm dating. I, I'm having serious dating with a werewolf. And, and I'm studying witchcraft and, and killing vampires. And I didn't have anyone to talk to about all this scary life stuff."

Joyce: "Buffy, what is this?"
Willow: "She was running away again."

"Talking about it isn't helping, we might as well try some violence."

"I was being sarcastic!"

"I mean, I'm not a full-fledged witch. That takes years. I just did a couple pagan blessings, and a... teeny glamour to hide a zit."

Willow: "I tried to communicate with the spirit world, and I so wasn't ready for that. It's like being pulled apart inside. Plus I blew the power for our whole block. Big scare."
Buffy: "I wish I could've been there with you."

Buffy: "You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you?"
Willow: "It's like a drug!"

Buffy: "I'm the bad. I can take my lumps... for a while."
Willow: "All right. I'll stop giving you a hard time... runaway."
Buffy: "Will!"
Willow: "I'm sorry... quitter."
Buffy: "Whiner."
Willow: "Bailer."
Buffy: "Harpy."
Willow: "Delinquent."
Buffy: "Tramp."
Willow: "Bad seed."
Buffy: "Witch."
Willow: "Freak!"

"As seniors, we can go off campus for lunch. It's no longer cutting. It's legal. Heck, it's expected."

"What if they're lying in wait to arrest me and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record?"

Willow: "Maybe we shouldn't be too couply around Buffy."
Cordelia: "Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?"
Xander: "Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell or what?"

Willow: "He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren't ready then. But I think you're ready now, or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation. Or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Oh, I didn't mean the bad thing with your mouth. I meant that little half-smile thing that you--. You're supposed to stop me when I do that."
Oz: "I like when you do that."

Willow: "Don't you think that went very well?"
Cordelia: "He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. That's progress."

Willow: "Have you ever noticed, though, when he is mad but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-cluck sound with his tongue?"
Buffy: "Hi, Giles!"

Willow: "Mmm, sage. I love that smell. And Marnox root. You know, a smidge of this mixed with a virgin's saliva..."
Giles: "..."
Willow: "... does something I know nothing about."

Giles: "What have you been conjuring?"
Willow: "Nothing... much."

"Floating feather. Fire out of ice -- which, next time, I won't do on the bedspread."

Willow: "Are you mad at me?"
Giles: "No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue."

Willow: "Hi, Scott! What are you doing here?"
Scott: "You told me if I came after eight, I could run into Buffy. Uh, I'm sorry. I'm a bad liar. It's not good for the soul, or the skin actually. It makes me blotch."

Willow: "Come on, Buffy. I mean, the guy is charm, and, and normal, which is what you wanted to get back to."
Oz: "Plus bonus points for use of the word 'mosey'."

"That's not what making out sounds like, unless I'm doing it wrong."

Willow: "Aha!"
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Sorry, I just meant... aha! There's a big evil brewin'. You'll never be bored here, Faith, 'cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin' evil."

Willow: "You know, you can hang out with us whlie she's testing. You wanna'?"
Xander: "Say 'yes' and, uh, bring your stories."
Buffy: "You guys go. It's fine. Fine. I'll just... sit."

Willow: "And over here, we have the cafeteria, where we were mauled by snakes."
Xander: "And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow."
Willow: "Oh, and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on parent-teacher night. Oh, and up those stairs, I was sucked into a muddy grave."
Xander: "And they say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid."

"Hey, maybe Faith and Scott could hit it off. I mean, if you're done with him. Not... that you used him."

Buffy: "Why am I seeing a look?"
Willow: "You really do need to find the fun, B."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Uffy."

Willow: "He was sounding the deeps of his nature, and the parts of his nature that were deeper than he, going back into the wombs of time. The rabbit could not..."
Oz: Growl!
Willow: "Okay, uh, maybe we should try a less stimulating passage.
Xander: "Private Harris reporting for Oz-watch.

Xander: "Ah, "Call of the Wild." Aren't we reading the Cliff's Notes of this in English?
Willow: "Some of us are. Anyway, it'll help you stay awake. It's good, and very wolfy. It seems to sooth the savage beast. Except for the part about rabbits.
Oz: Growl!
Xander: "Rabbis?

Xander: "No worries, I can handle the Oz full monty. I mean, not handle handle, like hands to flesh handle.
Willow: "Okay, well, it's not for you. It's for me, 'cause I'm still getting used to the half monty.
Xander: "Oh, good. Half? You and Oz? Which half?
Willow: "Wouldn't you like to know!"

Willow: "He's just being Oz.
Oz: "Pretty much full-time.

Oz: "Senior bio? I kind of aced that final.
Willow: "And how did you do that? Oh, right, you showed up.

"Wolf-you, not you-you.

Oz: "Okay, you know that thing where you bail in the middle of an upsetting conversation? I have to do that. It's kind of dramatic, I know, but... sometimes it's a necessary guy thing.
Willow: "And I want you to do the guy thing, but...(point at the clock)

Willow: "There are a lot of incised wounds, but they could be from anything.
Cordelia: "Anything with big, sharp teeth, and vicious...
Xander: "Do you want to go back to the car and wait?

Willow: "Glazed or cake? It's fun to watch them make them. They use this spritzy thing, and they drop the batter into this...
Buffy: "Couldn't sleep, huh?
Willow: "I've been at Mr. Donut since the tv did that snowy thing. How come you're the wakey-girl? I mean, this time it's not your boyfriend who's the cold-blooded... Jelly donut?

Faith: "Which means that he was killed during the day.
Willow: "Yes! Sorry, I got... I've just been... It's horrible, horrible.

Debbie: "I didn't ask for your help.
Willow: "Well, when are you going to? I mean, if Pete kills you, it'll pretty much be too late.

Debbie: "He does love me. He does love me.
Willow: "I think we broke her.

"It's all over school what happened with Debbie and Pete. Except for the Pete-was-a-monster part.

Willow: "That sounds like fun. And it is our last homecoming dance, so maybe we should make a big deal of it."
Xander: "You want to talk fun? Public bus. You meet the funnest people. Back me up here, Oz."
Oz: "Well, if it's a dollar issue, we can all take my van."
Cordelia: "Van? The Homecoming Queen doesn't go to the dance in a van. Use your head."
Xander: "Well, technically, you haven't been elected yet... although you certainly and without a doubt will be. Who else likes a limo?"
Willow: "A private limo. It is pretty... cuddlesome."

"Why wouldn't you go? You already have your tickets. I mean, unless you don't have a da... ay... or two, to think about it. We should all think about it."

Willow: "You have to help me pick an outfit. I want to wear something that makes Oz go, 'Oh!'"
Xander: "No problem. I got the tux going on. I'm going to look hot if it even remotely fits."

Willow: "It's my first big dance, you know. Where there's a boy, and a band. And not just me alone in my room pretending that there's a boy and a band. I just want it to be..."
Xander: "Special. That's why I spared no expense on the tux."
Willow: "The tux? I thought you borrowed it from your cousin Rigby?"
Xander: "Expense to my pride, Will. They're our only relations with money, and they shun us. As they should."
Willow: "Remember that eighth grade cotillion, and you had that clip-on?"
Xander: "Yeah, I was pretty stylin' with the clip-on."

Willow: "Now here we are, and it's Homecoming."
Xander: "Yeah, we should face it, Will. You and I are going to be in neighboring rest homes, while I come over so you can adjust me... my, uh... Well, I can't think of anything that's not really gross, so..."

Xander: "So, you and Oz... how do I put this? Are we on first, second, or ye gods?"
Willow: "That's none of your business, Alexander Harris."
Xander: "Oh, rounding second!"
Willow: "You don't know that! What about you and Cordelia?"
Xander: "Oh, a gentleman never talks about his conquests."
Willow: "When did you become a... gentleman?"

Willow: "I know... "nice."
Xander: "I was gonna go with "gorgeous."
Willow: "Really? You too... in a guy way."
Xander: "Oz is very lucky."
Willow: "So's Cordelia. In a girl way."

"What if I can't dance?"

Xander: "That didn't just happen."
Willow: "No! I mean, it did, but it didn't."
Xander: "Because I respect you, and Oz, and I would never..."
Willow: "I would never, either. It must be the clothes. It's a fluke."
Xander: "It's a clothes fluke, that's what it is. And there'll be no more fluking."
Willow: "Not ever."
Xander: "We got to get out of these clothes."
Willow: "Right now!"
Xander: "Oh, I didn't mean..."
Willow: "I didn't, me either."

Buffy: "Now, this is just like any other popularity contest. I've done this before. The only difference being this time I'm not actually popular. Although I'm not exactly unpopular. A lot of people came to my welcome home party."
Willow: "But they were killed by zombies."
Buffy: "Good point."

Xander: "She's my girlfriend."
Willow: "It's just that, she needs it so much more than you do."

Buffy: "Hey."
Willow: "Hi! How are you? Are you good? You look good. Anything new? Hey, did I mention you look good?"
Buffy: "Willow, it's okay that you're helping Cordelia. We're best friends. I'm not going to hold it against you."
Willow: "No, I'm not a friend, I'm a rabid dog who should be shot. But there are forces at work here, dark, incomprehensible forces."
Buffy: "And I'm sure they're more important than all we've been through together. Or the number of times that I've saved your life..."
Willow: "What do you want?"
Buffy: "Fifteen minutes alone on your computer with Cordelia's database."
Willow: (meekly) "'Kay."
Buffy: "Good!"

Willow: "This is all our fault."
Xander: "How do you get from chick-fight to our fault?"
Willow: "Because we felt so guilty about the fluke we overcompensated helping Cordelia, and we spun the whole group dynamic out of orbit, and we're just a big meteor shower heading for Earth..."
Xander: "Okay, calm down. Let's just put our heads together and think of something. Okay, now one of us here is pretty darn smart, and I'm... just in hell! I mean, I thought being a senior, at last, and having a girlfriend, at last, would be a good thing. Why wouldn't that be a good thing? What?"
Willow: "Sometimes when you're falling to pieces, your mouth, it just does the sweetest thing..."

"He wrote this song for me."

Buffy: "And then I was being chased by an improperly filled in answer bubble screaming "None of the above."
Willow: "Wow. I hope that wasn't one of your prophecy dreams.... Probably not."

Willow: "Oz is the highest scoring person never to graduate!"
Buffy: "Isn't she cute when she's proud?"
Oz: "She's always cute."

Willow: "Ooh! Candy bars! Lots of 'em!"

Willow: "I went to, like, four houses and they were gone. It's like trick or treating in reverse."
Xander: "I know! These things are selling like hot cakes. Which is ironic 'cause the hot cakes really aren't moving."

Xander: "The band. They're great. They march."
Willow: "Like an army. Except with music instead of bullets, and usually no one dies."

Willow: "Tell me again how it happened?"
Buffy: "I told my mom I wanted to be treated like a grown up, and voila! Driveyness! Also, I think she wanted me otherwhere. Considering my mom and Giles are planning my future, I think it's easier for them to live my life if I'm not actually there."

"Do you know that you have the parking brake on?"

Willow: "Are you sure about the Bronze? I mean, the SATs are tomorrow."
Buffy: "We can study at the Bronze. A little dancing, a little cross-multiplying."

Buffy: "Let's do the time warp again."
Willow: "Maybe there's a reunion in town.... or a Billy Joel tour or something."

Buffy: "Ms. Barton?"
Ms. Barton: Buffy, whoa!"
Willow: "You okay, Miss Barton?"
Ms. Barton: Oh I'm cool, Willow. Willow. That's a tree. You're a tree. Are there any nachos in here, Little Tree?"

"This is not normal. Maybe that goes without saying."

Willow: "I don't like this. They could have heart attacks."
Buffy: "Well, maybe there's a doctor here."
Willow: "I think that is my doctor. He's usually less topless."

Buffy: "They're acting like a bunch of us."
Willow: "I don't act like this."

*Louie, Louie*
Willow: "It just gets more upsetting."
*Louie, Louie*
Buffy: "No vampire has ever been that scary."

"Anybody else all creeped out and trembly?"

Cordelia: "You wanna swap?"
Willow: "What? Swap?"
Cordelia: "You wanna swap. This book is really thick and I'm not sure it's in English."

"Kiss rocks? Why would anyone want to--oh, wait, I get it."

Revelations

Willow: "Oz! Hey! Have a seat... except, we don't have any seats."
Oz: "It's okay, I'll just scrunch in."

Willow: "And that's very beautiful. I think it's great when two people like two people and want to be close to them instead of anyone else."
Xander: "Hear, hear!"

Cordelia: "Why are you guys so hyper?"
Willow: "Hey, speaking of people and things they do that aren't like usual... anyone notice Buffy acting sort of different?"
Xander: "Let's see -- Killing zombies... torching sewer monsters... and, no, that's pretty much the same old Buffster."

Willow: "A boyfriend? Why wouldn't she tell us?"
Cordelia: "Excuse me? When your last steady killed half the class, and then your rebound guy sends you a dump-o-gram? It makes a girl shy." Xander: "But we're the best of Buffy's bestest buds. She'd tell us."
Buffy: "Tell you what?"
Willow: "About your new boyfriend, who we made up... unless we didn't?"

Willow: "What does he want from us, anyway?"
Xander: "The number of a qualified surgeon to remove the British flag from his butt?"

Willow: "Oh, stop."
Xander: "Right. Stop means no, and no means no, so, um, stop."
(kissing)
Willow: "How'd you find it?"
Giles: "I looked."

Willow: "This isn't about attacking Buffy. Remember, "I" statements only - "I feel angry." "I feel worried."
Cordelia: "Fine. Here's one: I feel worried... about me!"

Buffy: "So, on a scale of one to a million, how much are you hating me right now?"
Willow: "Zero."

Buffy: "How long do you think he can stay angry at me, anyway?"
Willow: "The emotional marathon man?"

Willow: "Keeping secrets is a lot of work. One could hypothetically imagine."
Buffy: "You have no idea."
Willow: "None whatsoever! But..."

"You know, I always consider myself a good person - floss, do my homework, never cheat. But lately, and please don't judge me on this, but I want you to be the first to know, that, that... there's a demon behind you."

Buffy: "Sorry about that. So, what were you saying?
Willow: "Oh, I... I opened my SAT test booklet five minutes early. Just doesn't seem important now, does it?"

"Well, he saved me from a horrible flamey death. That sort of makes me like him again."

Lover's Walk

Willow: "This is a nightmare. This is... my world is spinning."
Xander: "It's not that bad, Willow, really."
Willow: "740? Verbal?? I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel."
Xander: "That's right, and the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot."
Willow: "Where did I go wrong?"

Willow: "Buffy! Hey, did you get your S.A.T. scores?"
Buffy: "And by the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are gonna be manning the drive-thru window side by side."

"1430! Buffy, you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited."

Willow: "What's this?"
Oz: "It's a gift."
Willow: "What's the occasion?"
Oz: "Pretty much you are."
Willow: "It's a little Pez witch!
Oz: "It's kind of a theme present. Do you like it?
Willow: "I like. I more than like. Oz, this is probably the sweetest... We have to find a little Pez werewolf, so little Pez witch can have a boyfriend."
Oz: "I don't think they make a werewolf Pez. You might have to settle for a wacky cartoon dog."

Willow: "This is... just so thoughtful."
Oz: "Well, I think about you."
Willow: "Oh, I don't have anything to give you."
Oz: "Yeah, you do."

Willow: "It's a mistake. It's a terrible, fatal mistake. I see that now."
Xander: "It's just bowling."
Willow: "It's bad bowling."

Willow: "It's a very intimate situation. It's all sexy, with the smoke and the sweating, and the shoe rental..."
Xander: "You're turned on by rented shoes?"
Willow: "That's not the issue."

Xander: "Look, we're just very good friends who like to hang out, and can I kiss your earlobe?"
Willow: "No! Well, okay. No. Pez!"

Willow: "But this is more of an anti-love spell. Yeah, kind of a de-lusting. The supplies are basically the same, right?"
Shopkeeper: Basically. Although raven feathers tend to breed a little more discontent than canary."

Xander: "Whoa! It smells like church in here. No, wait... evil church."
Willow: "It's just chemistry stuff. An experiment."
Xander: "Why do I have to be here?"
Willow: "It'll help you on the exam. You're way behind."
Xander: "But that's why you love me, right? Academically dangerous?"
Willow: "Here, hold this."
Xander: "A feather. And who would I be tickling?"
Willow: "Shush!"

Xander: "Is that a spell book?"
Willow: "No, no, no! Chemistry book."
Xander: "Wait a minute. This is love spell stuff. You doing a love spell?"
Willow: "No, of course not! This is a purely scientific... de-lusting spell... for us. I thought it would go better if you didn't know."
Xander: "Are you nuts? Or have you forgotten I tend to have bad luck with these sorts of spells?"

Willow: "This whole 'us' thing is... bleach!"
Xander: "So, do you really need to resort to the black arts to keep our hormones in check?"

Spike: "That smell, your neck. I haven't had a woman in weeks."
Willow: "Now, hold on! I'll do your spell for you, and, and, I'll get you Drusilla back, but there will be no bottle in face, and there will be no "having" of any kind with me. All right?"

Willow: "Now, I'm not a real witch, you know. I don't know if this is going to work right away."
Spike: "Well, if at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him, and you try again."

"You were real brave. Do you need to barf?"

"He's out of control. I mean, not that he was Joe Restraint in the old days."

Xander: "So, what are our options?"
Willow: "Well, I figure either I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell, and he kills us."
Xander: "Give me a third option."
Willow: "He's so drunk he forgets about us and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one."

Willow: "We're not supposed to." (. . .kiss)
Xander: "Exemption for impending death situation." (they kiss)

"I never knew there was anything inside me that could feel this bad."

The Wish

Willow: "Oh, god! Demon, demon, what kills a demon?!"
Buffy: "Nrrff! Nrrff!"
Willow: "Oh, nerf. Not nerf, knife!"

"Isn't he gonna poof?"

Xander: "But you know what really bugs me? Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss."
Willow: "Darn tootin'!"

Willow: "It's true - Cordelia belongs to the justified camp. She should make us pay. And pay, and pay, and pay... In fact, there's just not enough pay for what..."
Xander: "Look, you want to do guilt-a-palooza, fine."

Willow: "Absolutely. It's self-indulgent. I'm in. I'm on the joy train."
(long pause)
Buffy: "That didn't work. Who wants chocolate?"

Willow: "Xander, your hand."
Xander: "Oops, sorry.

"But if I want to make things right with Oz, my hands, my - all my stuff - has to be for him only."

Willow: "Bored now. This is the part that's less fun. When there isn't any screaming."
Cordelia: "What's up with you two and the leather?"
Willow: "Play now?"

Willow: "I love this part!"
Xander: "You love all the parts."

Willow: "No fun. She didn't even hardly fight."
Xander: "Ah, swell. It's the white hats."

Xander: "'Gotta get Buffy here." Isn't that what they called the Slayer?"
Willow: "Hmm, Buffy. Ooh, scary."

Willow: "You're in a big cage."
Xander: "Not too bright, book guy."

Master: "You killed the girl that sought the Slayer?"
Xander: "It was too easy."
Willow: "I felt cheap."

"Bored now. Daytime is the worst. Cooped up for hours. Can't hunt. But the Master said I could play. Isn't that fun, puppy? Aw, puppy's being all quiet."

"That's right, puppy. Willow's gonna make you bark."

Willow: "Don't you want to?"
Xander: "No thanks, baby. I just want to watch you go."

"Uh-oh. Puppy got out."

Amends/A Buffy Christmas

Buffy: "What are you doing for Christmas?"
Willow: "Being Jewish. Remember, people? Not everybody worships Santa."

Xander: "That's the Christmas spirit."
Willow: "Hello, still Jewish. Hanukah spirit, I believe that was?"

Oz: "Seeing you with Xander, it was... Well, I've never felt that way before. When it wasn't a full moon. But I know you guys have a history."
Willow: "But it's a history that's in the past. Well, I--I guess most history's in the past."

"It's perfect, in an awkward, uncomfortable sort of way."

Willow: "Hey, he likes beets."
Buffy: "I read that one already."

Willow: "Where are you going?"
Oz: "No, I'm not going. Just a dramatic gesture."

Willow: "Oz, I wanna' be with you... first."
Oz: "I think we should sit down again."

Gingerbread

Xander: "Why was your mom there?"
Buffy: "More bad. She picked last night, of all nights, for a surprise bonding visit."
Willow: "God, your mom would actually take the time to do that with you? That really wasn't the point of the story, was it?"

Joyce: "A cult. Like witches."
Willow: (coughing) "Sorry. Phlegm. Too much dairy."
Joyce: "I know you kids think that stuff's cool. Buffy told me you dabble."
Willow: "Right. Absolutely. That's me. I'm a dabbler."

Shelia Rosenberg: "Willow, you cut off your hair. That's a new look."
Willow: "Yeah, it's just a sudden whim I had--in August."

Shelia Rosenberg: "People calling themselves witches are responsible for this brutal crime."
Giles: "Indeed? How strange."
Willow: "Ha, ha. Yes. Strange. Witches."

Buffy: "What is this?"
Willow: "A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too."

Willow: "I have stuff in my locker. Henbane, hellebore, mandrake root."
Xander: "Excuse me. Playboys. Can we turn the sympathy this way?"

"Mom, I'm not an age group. I'm me. Willow group."

"Mom, how would you know what I can do? I mean, the last time we had a conversation over three minutes, it was about the patriarchal bias of the Mister Rogers Show."

Shelia Rosenberg: "You're grounded."
Willow: "Grounded? this is the first time _ever_ I've done something you don't like and I'm grounded? I'm supposed to mess up. I'm a teenager, remember?"

"I'm a rebel. I'm having a rebellion."

Willow: "Mom, I'm not acting out, I'm a witch. I can make pencils float. And I can summon the four elements. Okay, two, but four soon. And I'm dating a musician!"
Shelia Rosenberg: "Oh, Willow!"
Willow: "I worship Beelzebub. I do his biddings. Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them."

Willow: "All bow before Satan!"
Shelia Rosenberg: "I'm not listening to this."
Willow: "Prince of Night, I summon you! Come fill me with your black, naughty evil."

Willow: "You've seen what we can do. Another step and you will all feel my power!"
Buffy: "What are you gonna do, float a pencil at them?"
Willow: "It's a really big power!"
Buffy: "Yes! You will all be turned into vermin. And some of you will be fish. Yeah, you in the back, will be fish."
Guy: Maybe we should go."

Willow: "Diana, Hecate, I hereby license thee to depart. Goddess of creatures great and small, I conjure thee to withdraw."
Amy: (squeak)
Buffy: "Maybe we should get her one of those wheel thingies."

Helpless

"I went to _Snoopy on Ice_ when I was little. My dad took me backstage, and I got so scared I threw up on Woodstock."

"But it's a big one, Buffy. I mean, you can vote now. You can be drafted. You can vote not to be drafted."

Buffy: "So, how's it going with Amy the rat?"
Willow: "Good. She loves her new exercise wheel. She runs around, her nose wiggles--"
Buffy: "I meant, how's it going, changing her back into a human being?"
Willow: "Oh. Still working on it. But I just got her the cutest little bell..."

"Aha! A curse on Slayers. Oh, no, wait. It's lawyers."

Willow: "Now, when you say fired, do you mean fired?"
Xander: "You're not cruising past that concept any time soon, are you?"
Willow: "Well, it's just-- I mean, he's been fired. He's, he's unemployed. He's between jobs."
Buffy: "Giles isn't going anywhere, Will. He's still librarian."
Willow: "Okay, but I'm writing an angry letter."

The Zeppo

Buffy: "Willow, you okay?"
Willow: "Yeah, I'm fine. The shaking is a side effect of the fear."

Buffy: "If it weren't for that clouding spell..."
Willow: "Yeah, it went good. Nothing melted like last time."

Buffy: "Should I burn them?"
Willow: "I brought marshmallows. Occasionally, I'm callous and strange."

Buffy: "Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?"
Willow: "Every nightmare I had that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test, and naked."

(To Xander): "I love you."

Bad Girls

Willow: "I'm so overwhelmed. I got in! To actual colleges! And they're wooing me. They're pitching woo."
Buffy: "The wooing stage is always fun."

Willow: "Rejection I can handle 'cause of the years of training, but this..."
Xander: "I feel your pain, Will. Like right now, I'm torn between the fast-growing fields of appliance repair and motel management. Of course, I'm still waiting to hear back from the corndog emporium, so..."

"Chemistry's easy. It's a lot like witchcraft, only less newt."

"Give me time, and I may be the first Wicca to do all my conjuring in pine-fresh scent."

Consequences

"I'm meeting Michael. The warlock guy? We're still trying to de-rat Amy."

Buffy: "I need to talk to you."
Willow: "Good. 'Cause I've been letting things fester. And I don't like it. I want to be fester-free."

"It's like all of a sudden I'm not cool enough for you because I can't kill things with my bare hands."

"Oh, Buffy. Don't cry. I'm sorry. I was too hard on you. Sometimes I unleash. I don't know my own strength. It's bad. I'm bad. I'm a bad, bad, bad person."

Willow: "I don't need to say "oh", I got it before. They slept together."
Giles: "Fine, fine, let's move on."

Doppelgangland

Buffy: "He even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or if you ever wanted to be a florist."
Willow: "Ooh, I used to want... Wait, florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that."

"It's all about emotional control. Plus, obviously, magic."

"Hey, you want to go to the Espresso Pump and get sugared up on mochas?"

"How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? Ha. Buff Buff!"

Buffy: "I just - well, I want to do..."
Willow: "Better than Faith?"
Buffy: "So very shallow."
Willow: "Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don't mark the box that says, 'I sometimes like to kill people.'"
Buffy: "I know Faith's not going to be on the cover of 'Sanity Fair,' but... she had it rough."

Buffy: "I know how you hate talking about Faith."
Willow: "No, it's okay."
Buffy: "No, really, we should just..."
Willow: "No, it doesn't bother me. I mean it."
Buffy: "Uh, Will?" (indicates pencil spinning out of control)
Willow: "Oh." (pencil flies into tree)
Buffy: "Emotional control?"
Willow: "I'm working on it."
Principal Snyder: "You've got the brains, he's got the fast break. It's a perfect match."
Willow: "Match? You want us to breed?"
Principal Snyder: "I want you to tutor him."

Buffy: "So he threatened you? With what?"
Willow: "Well, it wasn't exactly anything he said. It was all in his eyes. I mean, there was some nostril work as well, but mostly eyes."

Oz: "There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own."
Willow: "Where were you yesterday?"
Oz: "We got back late, sort of very."
Willow: "We? Who? Where?"

Willow: "Maybe I would have liked to go."
Oz: "Didn't figure you for missing school."
Willow: "You think I'm boring."
Oz: "I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text."

"I'm eating this now. It's not lunch time, I don't even care."

Willow: "Old reliable? Yeah, great. There's a sexy nickname."
Buffy: "Well, I didn't mean it as..."
Willow: "No, it's fine, I'm Old Reliable."
Xander: "She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals."
Willow: "That's Old Faithful."
Xander: "Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot...?"
Willow: "That's Old Yeller."
Buffy: "Xander, I beg you not to help me."

Willow: "Maybe I'm not just some doormat person. Homework gal."
Xander: "I'm thinking nerve strike."
Willow: "Maybe I'll change my look. Or cut class. You don't know. And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned."
Buffy: "Will, wait. I'm really sorry."
Willow: "Buff, I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me."

Anya: "Anya. I'm sort of new here. I know Cordelia?"
Willow: "Oh, fun."
Anya: "Yeah, listen. I have this little project I'm working on and I heard you were the person to ask."
Willow: "Yeah, that's me. Reliable dog geyser person. What do you need?
Anya: "Oh, it's nothing big. Just a little spell I'm working on."
Willow: "A spell? Oh, I like the black arts."
Anya: "I just need a secondary to create a temporal fold. I heard you were a pretty powerful Wicca, so..."
Willow: "You heard right, mister! I'm always ready to work some dark mojo. So, tell me, is it dangerous?"
Anya: "Oh, no."
Willow: "Well, could we pretend it is?"

"Okay, that's a little blacker than I like my arts."

Anya: "I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace."
Willow: "Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?"
Anya: "Look, we'll just try it again, and..."
Willow: "No. I think emphatically not."

Vampire Willow: "Bored now." (whap) (thud) "I'm having a terrible night. Want to make it better?"
Xander: "What's going on? Is there a funny thing?"

Vampire Willow: "Xander..."
Xander: "Will. Changing the look. Not an idle threat with you."
Vampire Willow: "You're alive."
Xander: "Will, this is verging on naughty touching, here. Don't want to fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places."
Vampire Willow: "You're alive."
Xander: "You mentioned that... before."

Vampire Willow: "You made me cranky."
Alphonse: "I'm not telling you a thing."
Vampire Willow: (breaks finger) "Who do you work for?"
Alphonse: "Wilkins. The Mayor."
Vampire Willow: (breaks another finger) "Who do you work for?"
Alphonse: "You."

"What's going on? Geeze, who died? Oh, god, who died?"

Buffy: "Willow, you're alive."
Willow: "Aren't I usually?"

"I love you guys, too. Okay, oxygen becoming an issue."

"It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?"

Xander: "Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire."
Willow: "I'm not a vampire!"
Buffy: "You are. I mean, you were. Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?"

Vampire Willow: "Look, everyone's all afraid. It's just like old times."

Vampire Willow: "You don't have to be afraid... just to please me. If you're all good boys and girls, we'll make you young and strong forever and ever. We'll have fun. If you're not... (drains a girl) Questions? Comments?"

Oz: "You don't want to do this."
Vampire Willow: "I don't? But I'm so good at it."

Vampire Willow: "This is a dumb world. In my world there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies."

Buffy: "It was exactly you, Will. Every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix... as far as we know."
Willow: "Oh, right, me and Oz play Mistress of Pain every night."
Xander: "Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?"
Buffy: "Oh, yeah."
Giles: (raises glasses)

Vampire Willow: "Well, look at me, I'm all fuzzy."
Willow: "What do I want with you? Uhh..."
Vampire Willow: "Your little school friend Anya said that you're the one that brought me here. She said that you could get me back to my world."
Willow: "Oh. Ooh. Oops!"

Vampire Willow: "We could be quite a team, if you came around to my way of thinking."
Willow: "Would that mean we have to snuggle?"
Vampire Willow: "What do you say? Want to be bad?"
Willow: "This just can't get more disturbing."
Vampire Willow: (growls)
Willow: "Ack! No more! You're really starting to freak me out."

Vampire Willow: "You don't want to play, guess I can't force you. Oh, wait, I can."
Willow: (shoots tranquilizer dart)
Vampire Willow: "Bitch!"

Giles: "It's extraordinary."
Willow: "It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay."
Buffy: "Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was."
Angel: "Well, actually... That's a good point."

Angel: "They're still in a holding pattern. That's good. It means they must really be afraid of you."
Willow: "Who wouldn't be?"
Buffy: "Are you okay in that?"
Willow: "It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe. Gosh, look at those."

Xander: "What is the signal?"
Willow: "Me screaming."

Buffy: "Now, you're sure you're up to this?"
Willow: "Don't worry. I won't do anything that could be interpreted as brave."

Anya: "How could you kill her? She was our best shot at getting your world back."
Willow: "I don't like that you dare question me. Maybe I'll have my minions take you out back and kill you horribly."
Anya: "Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth."

Vampire Willow: "Oh, this is like a nightmare."

Vampire Willow: "Don't want to talk. Hungry."

Willow: "It would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Where's the fun?"
Alfonse: With all due respect, Boss, the fun would be the eating."

Willow: "Okay, let's get to the killing. Why don't we start with her?"
Anya: "Why don't we start with you? If she's a vampire, them I'm the Creature From the Black Lagoon."

Cordelia: "What? Do I have something on my neck?"
Vampire Willow: "Not yet."

Wesley: (threatens with a cross) "Back, creature of the night! Leave this place!"
Evil Willow: "Don't wanna."
Wesley: (threatens with holy water)
Evil Willow: (sighs) "Whatever."

"This girl has a history of mental problems dating back to early childhood. I'm a blood-sucking fiend. Look at my outfit!"

Willow: "A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this? Aaaaaahhhhh!"
Anya: "Sure, yeah. Humans do that."
Alfonse: Yeah, I think, yeah."

"Ow, ow, ow! Happy, but ow."

"No more snuggles?"

Willow: "Nice reflexes."
Buffy: "Well, I work out."

Vampire Willow: "This world's no fun."
Willow: "You noticed that, too?"

"Good luck. Try not to kill people. (hugs) Hands! Hands!"

Vampire Willow: "Oh, fu--"

Buffy: "You wanna go out tonight?"
Willow: "Strangely, I feel like staying at home... and doing my homework... and flossing... and dying a virgin."
Buffy: "You know, you can O.D. on virtue."
Willow: "Between me and my evil self, I've double guilt coupons."

Earshot

Willow: "I don't like this whole "no mouth" thing. It's disquieting."
Buffy: "Well, no mouth means no teeth... unless they have them somewhere else."

Willow: "Too bad you're patrolling, 'cause we're all going -- Oz, Xander, everybody."
Buffy: "Great. Everybody who isn't currently Buffy."

Willow: "According to Freddy's latest editorial, 'The pep rally is a place for pseudo-prostitutes to provoke men into a sexual frenzy, which, when thwarted, results in pointless athletic competition.'"
Xander: "And the down-side being?"

Willow: "The school paper is edging on depressing lately. Have you guys noticed that?"
Oz: "I don't know. I always go straight to the obits."

Willow: "Yeah, well, I still bet patrolling was way better, 'cause, wow, important."
Buffy: "Well, I thought I saw a four-legged demon. But it was just a dog."

"Buffy did the reading? Buffy understood the reading?"

(thinking): "What if Buffy doesn't need me any more?"

Willow: "So you're feeling better about Angel?"
Buffy: "Well, we talked. And then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me, and then we talked some more."
Willow: "See, that's how it should work."

Choices

Willow: "Sounds like your mom's in a state of denial."
Buffy: "More like a continent. She just has to realize that I can't go away."
Willow: "Maybe not now, but soon, maybe. Or maybe I, too, hail from denial land."
Buffy: "Faith's turn to the dark side of the Force pretty much put the proverbial kibosh on any away plans for me."

Buffy: "But you - I can't believe you got into Oxford!"
Willow: "It's pretty exciting."
Oz: "There's some deep academia there."
Buffy: "That's where they make Gileses!"
Willow: "I know. I could learn, and have scones."

(on Xander's road trip idea): "I think it's neat, you doing the back-pack, trail mix, happy wanderer thing."

"I got into Harvard."

"Oh, Buffy, she was just being Cordelia, only more so."

Xander: "I can't help it. It's my nature."
Willow: "Maybe you need a better nature."

Buffy: "Looks like a job for wiccan-girl. What do you say, Will? Big time danger."
Willow: "Hey, I eat danger for breakfast."
Xander: "But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods."

"Oh, yeah, I'm bad."

Hench-Vamp: What are you doing?"
Willow: "I'm looking for a sucking candy. 'Cause my mouth gets dry when I'm nervous, or held prisoner against my will. And suddenly I'm thinking 'sucking' isn't a good word to use around vampires. Hey! Did you get permission to eat the hostage? I don't think so."

Faith: "Check out the bookworm."
Willow: "Faith!"
Faith: "Anybody with brains, anybody who knew what was going to happen to her, would be trying to claw her way out of this place. But you! You just can't stop Nancy Drewing, can you? I guess now you know too much, and that kind of just naturally leads to killing."

"It didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo-hoo!"

Faith: "You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient."
Willow: "Oh, and here I just thought you didn't have a comeback."

Willow: "I'm not afraid of you."
Faith: "Let's see what we can do about that."

"So Faith was like, 'I'm gonna beat you up,' and I'm all, 'I'm not afraid of you.' And then she had the knife, which was less fun."

Willow: "What do you mean, I can't?"
Buffy: "I won't let you."
Willow: "Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?"

"I have a shot at being a bad-ass wicca. And what better place to learn?"

Buffy: "I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can handle."
Willow: "Mochas?"
Buffy: "Yes, please."

The Prom

Oz: "Anya, huh? Interesting choice."
Xander: "Choice is kind of a broad term for my situation. See, it's either Anya, or the sock puppet of love for this boy."
Willow: "Well, if Anya tries to get you killed, put me down for a big 'I told you so.'"

Buffy: "So it was blue and sort of short?"
Willow: "Not too short. Medium. And it had this weird sort of fringey stuff on its arms."
Giles: "What's that, a demon?"
Buffy: "A prom dress. That Will was thinking of getting. Can't you ever get your mind out of the Hellmouth?"

"Oh, he's a fool. He's just a big, dumb, jerk person. If you ask me. And he's a super-maxi jerk for doing it right before the prom."

Buffy: "You don't have to make him the bad guy."
Willow: "But that's the best friend's job, vilifying and grousing."

Willow: "It must be horrible."
Buffy: "I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now I'm just trying to keep from dying."

"She's right. I mean, you've seen one big hairy bringer of death, you've seen them all."

Willow: "We can't just leave you, Buff."
Giles: "Buffy, they're right. You need-"
Buffy: "To see taillights. Hit the door. I have everything under control."
Oz: "Buffy, it makes sense to-"
Buffy: "Have. A. Nice. Time."
Willow: "Okay, then."
Xander: "See ya."

"We got in. Maybe we should dance before we get besieged, bedeviled or beheaded or something."

Graduation Day, Part 1

Harmony: "You know, I really wish we could have got to know each other better."
Willow: "Me, too."
Harmony: "I mean, you're so smart. I always wanted to be like that."
Willow: "Thanks, you're so sweet!"
Harmony: "I hope we don't lose touch."
Willow: "No, we'll hang out. Oh, I'm gonna miss her."
Buffy: "Don't you hate her?"
Willow: "Yes, with a fiery vengeance. She picked on me for 10 years. The vacuous tramp. It's like a sickness, Buffy. I'm just missing everything. I miss P.E."

Xander: "Guess who our commencement speaker is?"
Willow: "Siegfried?"
Xander: "No."
Willow: "Roy?"
Xander: "No."
Willow: "One of the tigers?"
Xander: "Come out of the fantasy, Will."

Percy: "Check it out - history final."
Willow: "B-minus! That's great."
Percy: "I'm a scholar. I'm like a scholar!"

Percy: "Hey, listen, thank you. I mean, for helping me. Being so patient. And also, for not kicking my ass like you did in the Bronze."
Willow: "You know, Percy, that was actually... for your own good."

"It's bad enough we have to fight the mayor. I don't want him eating Percy and the whole class."

Willow: "How come evil girl's in the mix?"
Giles: "Anya witnessed an ascension."
Willow: "Oh, okay then."
Willow: "Oh, this is frustrating."
Oz: "Nothing useful?"
Willow: "No, it's great... if we want to make ferns invisible, or communicate with shrimp, I've got the goods right here."
Oz: "Our lives are different than other people's."

Oz: "You think I don't care?"
Willow: "I think we could be dead in two days time, and you're being ironic detachment guy."
Oz: "Would it help you if I panicked?"
Willow: "Yes! It'd be swell."

Willow: "What are you doing?"
Oz: "Panicking."

Willow: "I feel different, you know? But I guess that makes sense. Do you feel different? Oh, no, you've already... Probably no big change for you. It was nice. Was it nice? Should this be a quiet moment?"
Oz: "I know exactly what you mean."
Willow: "Which part?"
Oz: "Everything feels different."

Graduation Day, Part 2

Angel: "I can't leave you. I was wrong. I need you."
Willow: "Oh! You mean you need Buffy!"
Angel: "Willow?"
Willow: "Yes! Right! Willow!"

Oz: "Any change?"
Willow: "He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy."
Oz: "You, too, huh?"

Buffy: "Faith told me to play on his human weakness."
Willow: "Faith told you? Was that before or after you put her in a coma?"
Buffy: "After."
Willow: "Oh."

Oz: "Are you nervous?"
Willow: "Only in a terrified way."
Oz: "We're gonna make it through this."
Willow: "Are you sure?"
Oz: "I sound pretty sure, don't I?"
Willow: "Yeah."
Oz: "Well, then I must be sure."
Willow: "Is that just a comforting way of not answering the question?"

Buffy: "My god, he's gonna do the entire speech."
Willow: "Man, just ascend already."
Buffy: "Evil."

Cordelia: "Well, that was the most fun you could have without having any fun.
Willow: "What about the part where we kicked some demon ass? I didn't hate that."

Oz: "Guys, take a moment to deal with this. We survived. Buffy: "It was a hell of a battle."
Oz: "Not the battle. High School. We're taking a moment. And we're done."
Xander: "Well! School's done. That is so cool!"
Willow: "Why do demons even come here? I mean, don't they know how bad we are?"