<div align="center"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">-Isms - Rupert Giles

Xander: "Check it out. The Watcher is back on the clock. And just when you were thinking career change, maybe becoming a... a looker or a... a seer."
Giles: "Thank you, Xander."

Buffy: "I got in a few hours ago, but I wanted to go see my mom first."
Giles: "Yes, yes, of course. How, how did you find her?"
Buffy: "Well, I pretty much remembered the address."

"I'm trying to find out how and why it rose from the grave. It's not as if I'm going to take it home and offer it a saucer of warm milk."

Cordelia: "I know. It smells like Giles' cat."
Giles: "It's not my --!"

Giles: "I need to speak to Buffy! Now!"
Guest: "Bunny?"

"Unbelievable. 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead.' Americans."

"Oh, good show, Giles."

(after hotwiring his car) "Like riding a bloody bicycle!"

Giles: "Cordelia, it's me! It's me!"
Cordelia: "How do we know it's really you and not zombie Giles?"
Giles: "Cordelia, do stop being tiresome."
Cordelia: "It's him."

Oz: "Well, what happens if they get the mask?"
Giles: "If one of them puts it on, they become the demon incarnate."
Cordelia: "Worse than a zombie."
Giles: "Yes, worse."

Giles: "I'd like to have a word with you."
Principal Snyder: "If that word is 'Buffy', then I have two words for you: 'good' and 'riddance'."

Giles: "You had no grounds for expelling her."
Principal Snyder: "I have grounds, I have precedent, and a tingly kind of feeling."

Principal Snyder: "Sorry, I'm not convinced."
Giles: "Would you like me to convince you?"

Giles: "What have you been conjuring?"
Willow: "Nothing... much."

Willow: "Are you mad at me?"
Giles: "No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue."

Giles: "It's a great honor to be invited... or so I'm told."
Faith: "Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you."

"Leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty, I'd say it was, um, fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did."

Giles: "What you must realize, Buffy, is that you and Faith have very different temperaments."
Buffy: "Yeah, and mine's the sane one. The girl's not playing with a full deck. She has almost no deck. She has a three."

Giles: "She doesn't have a whole other life here, as you do."
Buffy: "She doesn't need a life. She has mine."
Giles: "I think you're being a little--."
Buffy: "No, I'm being a lot. I know that."

Giles: "I'll see if I can reach her Watcher at the retreat. They're eight hours ahead now. Yes, they're probably sitting down to a nightcap. I wonder if they still kayak. I used to love a good kayak. You see, they don't even consider--."
Buffy: "..."
Giles: "Sorry, I digress."

Buffy: "No tats. Crappy dressers. And, uh, oh, the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast."
Giles: "Do you mean 'Kakistos'?"
Buffy: "Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?"
Giles: "Kakistos."
Buffy: "Is that bad?"

Giles: "You think he and Faith are connected?"
Buffy: "Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns."
Giles: "Well, Buffy, it's entirely possible that they arrived here by chance simultaneously."
Buffy: "Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?"
Giles: "As far as I know."

Buffy: "I'm gonna' talk to Faith, see if khaki trousers rings--."
Giles: "Kakistos."
Buffy: "Kakistos rings a bell... or an alarm."

Giles: "Right. It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic.
Oz: "Just a thought: Poker, not your game.
Willow: "What's the deal, Giles?
Giles: "Now, bear in mind, most likely, there is no deal, but if -- if there was a deal, then it would concern murder last night.

Xander: "Not to freak, I rested my eyes now and then, that's all.
Giles: "How long, exactly, did you rest your eyes for?
Xander: "A little now, a little then.

Giles: "We could ask Faith to watch over him.
Oz: "What, you're having a Slayer watch me? Oh, good, we're not overreacting.

Giles: "In my experience, there are two types of monster. The first can be redeemed, or more importantly, wants to be redeemed.
Buffy: "And the second type?
Giles: "The second is void of humanity... cannot respond to reason or love.

"This creature is especially brutal. I believe the phrase coined by the coroner when describing Mr. Platt was "pureed."

Giles: "Clearly, we're looking for a depraved, sadistic animal.
Oz: "Present. Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable.

Giles: "We have two victims... Jeff Orkin and now Platt. Maybe there's something they had in common.
Faith: "Missing internal organs.
Giles: "Besides that.

Giles: "Faith, you and I team. Willow, stick with Buffy.
Oz: "And I'll... go lock myself in the cage.

(Buffy shoots Giles with the tranquiliser gun)
Giles: "Ow!
Buffy: "Sorry!
Giles: "Oh, right. Bloody priceless.

Giles: "This is the SATs, Buffy. Not connect the dots. Please pay attention. A low score could seriously harm your chances of getting into college."
Buffy: "Gee, thanks. That takes the pressure right off."
Giles: "This isn't meant to be easy you know. It's a rite of passage."
Buffy: "Is it too late to join a tribe where they just pierce something or cut something off?"

Buffy: "I broke my No. 2 pencil. We'll have to do this again sometime."
Giles: (handing Buffy a new pencil): C) "All systems tend towards chaos."

Joyce: "Don't you think Mr. Giles is monopolizing an awful lot of your time?"
Buffy: "And does he ever say he's sorry?"
Buffy: "Ow!"
Giles: "I'm sorry."

"It's not that simple is it... OW!"

Giles: "All right, come on. Let's not, uh, freak out."
Buffy: "Freak out?!"

Joyce: "Do you think she noticed anything?"
Giles: (lighting a cigarette) "No way."

Joyce: "You've got good albums."
Giles: "Yeah, they're okay."
Joyce: "Do you like Seals & Crofts?"
Giles: (looks)
Joyce: "Me neither."

Joyce: "So, why do they call you Ripper?"
Giles: "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Ooo. Copper's got a gun!"

"Oh for god's sake, let your mum have a sodding candy bar."

Buffy: "Listen to me--"
Giles: "No, you listen to me. I'm your Watcher so you do what I tell you. Now sod off!"

Giles: "(breathing hard): Bloody hell."
Buffy: "That's what smoking'll do to you."

Buffy: "So, Ethan, what are we playing? We're pretty much in a talk or bleed situation. Your call."
Giles: "Hit him."
Ethan: "I'd just like to point out that this wasn't my idea."
Buffy: "Meaning?"
Ethan: "I'm subcontracting. It's Trick you want. I'm just helping him collect a tribute. For a demon."
Giles: "He's lying. Go on, hit him."
Buffy: "I don't think he is. And shut up."
Giles: "You're my Slayer. Go knock his teeth down his throat."

Joyce: "Something's gonna eat those babies?"
Principal Snyder: "I think that is so wrong."
Giles: "She says she never saw who took them. Dozy cow."
Buffy: "I know who took them."
Giles: "Well then let's do something. Let's find the demon and kick the crap out of it."

Giles: "Larconis dwells beneath the city, filth to filth."
Buffy: "What?"
Giles: "Ooh. I know this. I knew this. Larconis means glutton, and we'll find it in the sewers."

Giles: "You filthy little poncer, are you afraid of a little demon?
Principal Snyder: "If you want to splash around in the poo, you're the filthy one."

Buffy: "It was just too much to deal with. It was like nothing made sense anymore. The things that I thought I understood were gone. I just felt so alone."
Giles: "Was that the math or the verbal?"
Buffy: "Mostly the math."
Giles: "Well if you scored low then you can always take them again."
Buffy: "More SATs Is there really a point? I could die before I even apply to college."
Giles: "And then you very possibly might not."
Buffy: "Well, let's just keep hope alive."

Giles: "I say, your car seems to have had an adventure, doesn't it?"
Joyce: "Buffy assures me that it happened battling evil, so I'm letting her pay for it on the installment plan."
Buffy: "Hey, the way things were going, be glad that's the worst that happened. At least I got to the two of you before you actually did something."
Joyce: "Right."
Giles: "Indeed"
Joyce: "Yes."

Revelations

Gwen Post: "Do you have Hume's "Paranormal Encyclopedia"? The Labyrinth maps of Malta?"
Giles: "It's on order."

Gwen Post: "The fact is, there is talk in the Council that you have become a bit too... American."
Giles: "Me?"
Buffy: "Him??"

Giles: "What do you propose?"
Gwen Post: "Well, if it's not too radical a suggestion, I thought we might kill him."
Gwen Post: "Lagos will be headed for the cemetery."
Giles: "There is more than one in Sunnydale."
Gwen Post: "I see. How many?"
Giles: "Twelve within the city limits."

Giles: "That was bracing."
Buffy: "Interesting lady. Can we kill her?"
Giles: "I think the Council might frown upon that."

Gwen Post: "The pictures are fun to look at, Mr. Giles, but one really ought to read the nice words as well."

Giles: "I am in complete control of my Slayer."
Xander: "Giles! We have a big problem - it's Buffy."

"I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer. But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me... for hours... for pleasure. You should have told me he was alive. You didn't. You have no respect for me, or the job I perform."

"She was kicked out by the Council a couple of years ago for misuses of dark power. They swear there was a memo."

Lover's Walk

Giles: "Buffy, this is remarkable."
Buffy: "So is this. Where is this retreat thing, the Yukon?"
Giles: "It's quite nearby, actually. It's the clearing at the top of Breaker's Woods. It's the site of some fascinating Druidic rituals."
Buffy: "Okay, but you're just going for a few days, right? I mean, you're not going to settle there and grow crops or anything?"
Giles: "What? Oh, my gear. No, this is... this is basic necessities."
Buffy: "Giles, you pack like me."

Giles: "Here. I suspect your mother will want to put it on the refrigerator."
Buffy: "Yeah, she saw these scores and her head spun around and exploded."
Giles: "I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?"

Giles: "And please don't do anything rash."
Buffy: "Anything rash meaning...?"
Giles: "Are you planning on seeing Angel?"
Buffy: "Yes, actually, I am. Look, but there's not going to be any rash. Anywhere."

The Wish

"Yes, I'm aware that there's a great deal of demonic activity in Cleveland. It happens, you know, that Sunnydale in on a Hellmouth. It is so!"

Giles: "It was better... before."
Larry: "Okay, the entire world sucks because some dead ditz made a wish? I just want it clear."

Buffy: "Why don't I just put a stake through her heart?"
Giles: "She's not a vampire."
Buffy: "Well, you'd be surprised how many things that'll kill."

Buffy: "You're taking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves."
Giles: "Giles."

Buffy: "World is what it is. We fight, we die. Wishing doesn't change that."
Giles: "I have to believe in a better world."

Amends/A Buffy Christmas

Angel: "I'm sorry to bother you."
Giles: Sorry. Coming from you, that phrase strikes me as rather funny. Sorry to bother me."
Angel: "I need your help."
Giles: "And the funny keeps on coming."

Angel: "I should be in a demon dimension suffering an eternity of torture."
Giles: "I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that."
Giles: "Knowing why you are back would give you peace of mind?"
Angel: "It might."
Giles: "You think that's something you ought to have? Because, sir, to be blunt, the last time you became complacent about your existence turned out rather badly."

"Well, we start, not surprisingly, with research."

"You can skip the passages on his garden, unless you're keen on growing heartier beets."

Gingerbread

"Oh, uh, 12th Century, Papal Encyclical."

Buffy: "Find me the thing that uses this symbol and point me at it."
Giles: "Hmm."
Buffy: "'Hmm' what? Giles, speak."

Buffy: "Someone with a soul did this?"
Giles: "Yes, I'm afraid so."
Buffy: "Okay. then while you're looking for the meaning of that symbol thingy, could you also find a loophole in that 'Slayers don't kill people' rule?"

Joyce: "Well, it's uh, it's been a while."
Giles: "Right. Not since, uh, not since... not for a while."
Shelia Rosenberg: "There's a rumor going around, Mr. Giles."
Giles: "Rumor, about us? About what?"

Giles: "They're confiscating my books."
Buffy: "Giles, we need those books."
Giles: "Believe me, I tried to tell that to the nice man with the big gun."

Giles: "Ordinarily, I would say let's widen our research."
Buffy: "Using what? A dictionary and _My Friend Flicka_?"

Giles: "This is intolerable. Snyder has interfered before, but I won't take this from that twisted little homonculus."
Snyder: "I love the smell of desperate librarian in the morning."
Giles: "You get out... and take your marauders with you."
Snyder: "Oh, my. So fierce."

"'Session interrupted'? Who said you could interrupt, you stupid, useless fad! No, I said fad, and I'll say it again."

Giles: "There is a fringe theory, held by a few folklorists, that some regional stories have actual, very literal antecedents."
Buffy: "And in some language that's English?"
Oz: "Fairy tales are real."

Giles: "And, uh, drop a toadstone into the mixture."
Cordelia: "This? It doesn't look like a toad."
Giles: "No reason it should. It's from inside the toad."
Cordelia: "I hate you."

Helpless

"Since it is part of your training, I would appreciate your glib-free attention."

Giles: "Faith is not interested in proper training, so I must rely on you to keep up with yours."
Buffy: "I hate being the good one."

Buffy: "I throw knives like..."
Giles: "A girl?"

Giles: "I've told Buffy everything."
Quentin: "That is in direct opposition to the Council's orders."
Giles: "Yes. Interestingly, I don't give a rat's ass about the Council's orders."

Quentin: "We're not in the business of fair, Miss Summers, we're fighting a war."
Giles: "You're waging a war. She's fighting it. There is a difference."

The Zeppo

Giles: "I was aware that there was a nest here, but, quite frankly, I expected it to be vampires. These are new."
Buffy: "And improved."

Giles: "I'm more interested in finding what they are, and whether we can expect more of their kind."
Buffy: "I hope not. They're way too fit."

Xander: "But gee, Mr. White, if Clark and Lois get all the good stories, I'll never be a good reporter."
Giles: "Hmm?"
Xander: "Jimmy Olsen jokes are pretty much gonna be lost on you, huh?"
Giles: "Sorry."

Buffy: "And they're here in Sunnydale for what, Demon Expo?"
Giles: "Buffy, this is no laughing matter."
Buffy: "Hence my no laughing."

Bad Girls

Wesley: "I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course."
Giles: "No danger of finding those here."
Wesley: "Vampires?"
Giles: "Controlled circumstances."

Buffy: "Is he evil?"
Giles: "Not in the strictest sense of the..."

Wesley: "These are all the diaries then, yours included?"
Giles: "That's everything. Knock yourself out. Please?"

Wesley: "You're not helping."
Giles: "No. I feel just sick about it."

Wesley: "Stay calm, Mr. Giles. We have to stay calm."
Giles: "Well, thank god you're here. I was planning to panic."

Wesley: "What is that thing?"
Giles: "That would be your demon. You know, the dead one?"
Wesley: "There's no need to get snippy."

Balthazar: "You know what I want."
Giles: "If it's for me to scrub those hard-to-reach areas, I'd like to request you kill me now."
Vamp: (snarl) (strikes Giles)
Giles: "Ow."

Wesley: "Are you out of your mind? This is hardly the time for games."
Giles: "Why not? They're going to torture us to death anyway."
Balthazar: "You're not wrong about that."

Wesley: "I can tell you everything."
Giles: "Be quiet, you twerp! They'll kill us both."
Wesley: "But I like to have my kneecaps."

Giles: "Look, tell you what. Let Captain Courageous here go, and I'll tell you what you need to know. How's that deal?"
Balthazar: There is one deal! You will die quickly, or you will die slowly."

Consequences

Giles: "The Deputy Mayor's murder was the result of human malice. There's nothing supernatural about it.
Wesley: "We don't know that for certain. I say it merits investigation.
Giles: "Which I'm sure the police are doing. Meantime, if you ask me, there are better uses for the Slayers' time.
Wesley: "Ah. But I don't believe I did. Ask you.
Giles: "Considering the success of your previous adventure..."

"She may have many talents, Buffy, but fortunately lying is not one of them."

Giles: "Oh!"
Willow: "I don't need to say "oh", I got it before. They slept together."
Giles: "Fine, fine, let's move on."

Doppelgangland

Giles: "How did it go?"
Faith: "Princess Margaret here had a little trouble keeping up."
Giles: "How did it go?"
Wesley: "Faith, uh, did quite well on the obstacle field. Still a little sloppy, though."
Giles: "Do you feel up to taking Buffy out, or shall I?"
Wesley: "Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine. Just give me a minute. And some defibrillators, it it's not too much trouble."

Xander: "This isn't real."
Buffy: "I can't feel anything. Arms, legs, anything."
Giles: "She was truly the finest of all of us."
Xander: "Way better than me."
Giles: "Much. much better."

Giles: "Well, uh, something... something very strange is happening."
Xander: "Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?"

Enemies

"Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore."

Wesley: "Find anything?"
Giles: "A six-course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod all as a palette cleanser."

Wesley: "I don't think they'd be very happy at the idea of the two of us collaborating."
Giles: "Well, I wasn't about to burst into glorious song about it myself."

Buffy: "It's down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town."
Giles: "Again, see? No standards. I mean, any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt."
Buffy: "I'll remember to mention that."

"Thank you for coming to me and for that rather effective light show you put on."

Willow: "His debt to you is repaid? What did you do?"
Giles: "I introduced him to his wife."

Earshot

Giles: "...I've cross-referenced..."
Xander: "He's a cross-referencing fool."
Giles: "It's not the ritual flaying of the demon Azareth, nor the, um... I don't know what's going to happen."
Oz: "That was sort of an anti-climax."

Giles: "I was just filling Buffy in on my progress regarding the research of the Ascension."
Wesley: "Oh. And what took up the rest of the minute?"
Giles: "Touche."

Giles: "You touched one of the demons."
Buffy: "A good touch, not a bad touch."

Giles: "Is this the demon in question?"
Buffy: "In the disgusting flesh."
Giles: "Hmm."

Giles: "It says they can infect the host."
Buffy: "Infect? Infect?! Giles! Infect??"

Giles: "Feel up to some training?"
Buffy: "Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my MOTHER."
Giles walks into a tree (ha ha ha)

Choices

Wesley: "You cannot leave Sunnydale! With the power invested in me by the Council, I forbid it."
Giles: "Oh, yes, that should settle it."

Giles: "What's your plan?"
Buffy: "I gotta have a plan? Really? I can't just be proactive with pep?"
Giles: "If you want to take the fight to them, I suggest the first step will be to find out exactly what they're up to."
Buffy: "Oh. I actually knew that. I thought you meant a more specific plan, you know, with maps and stuff."

The Prom

Willow: "Not too short. Medium. And it had this weird sort of fringey stuff on its arms."
Giles: "What's that, a demon?"
Buffy: "A prom dress."

Wesley: "Except, of course, on the actual night, when I will be aiding Mr. Giles in his chaperoning duties."
Giles: "What? Excuse me? Fine, fine, fine..."

"And I shall be wearing pink taffeta, as chenille will not go with my complexion."

Giles: "I don't really know what to say. Um, I understand that this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind."
Buffy: "Ice cream will come. First I want to take out psycho boy."
Giles: "You sure?"
Buffy: "Great thing about being a Slayer? Kicking ass is comfort food."

"For god's sake, man, she's 18! And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you? And stop fluttering about."

Giles: "You did good work tonight, Buffy."
Buffy: "And I got a little toy surprise."
Giles: "I had no idea that children en masse could be gracious."
Buffy: "Every now and then, people surprise you."

Graduation Day, Part 1

There's nothing in here that bellows 'motive'."

Giles: "Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy."
Buffy: "'Cause I'm not crazy, or 'cause I don't kill people?"
Giles: "Both, actually."

Wesley: "Giles, talk to her."
Giles: "I have nothing to say right now."

Xander: "Boy, it's a good thing no one ever wanted to check any of these books out, huh?"
Giles: "Yes, very convenient."
Xander: "Come on, Olvikan. Hey... We're gonna need a bigger boat."

Graduation Day, Part 2

Xander: "Here's your coffee, brewed from the finest Columbian lighter fluid."
Giles: "Thank you. Horrible."
Xander: "Aren't you supposed to be drinking tea, anyway?"
Giles: "Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense."
Xander: "OK. But you're destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here."

Giles: "Look through the Kepler volumes. Any reference to the demon Olvikan: powers, weaknesses, hat size. There has to be something."
Xander: "Still batting zero? But I mean, uh, in cricket?"

Giles: "Buffy no longer needs a watcher."
Cordelia: "But does he have to leave the country? I mean, you got fired and you still hang around like a big loser. Why can't he?"

Buffy: "That's the basic plan. So. Am I crazy?"
Willow: "Well, crazy is such a strong word."
Giles: "Let's not rule it out though."
Buffy: "You don't think it can be done?"
Giles: "I didn't say that. I might, but not yet."

Oz: "Who's gonna stoke it up?"
Buffy: "Feel up to it?"
Giles: "I suppose it should be I. Strangely fitting in a grotesque fashion."

Giles: "There's a certain dramatic irony attached to all this. A synchronicity that borders on predestination, one might say."
Buffy: "Fire bad. Tree pretty."

"Must go attend to Wesley. See if he's still whimpering."