Season Three

Anya/Anyanka

The Wish

(on Harmony): "If that girl had an original thought, her head would explode."

Cordelia: "I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale."
Anyanka: "Done."
Cordelia: "That would be cool. No, wait. I wish Buffy Summers had never been born."
Anyanka: "Done!"
Cordelia: "And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair."
Anyanka: "Done!"
Cordelia: "In fact, I wish all men, except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind, disappeared off the face of the earth. That would be so cool! Or maybe..."

Doppelgangland

"For a thousand years I wielded the powers of the Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking Math."

"Do you have any idea how boring 12th graders are?"

Anya: "Anya. I'm sort of new here. I know Cordelia?"
Willow: "Oh, fun."
Anya: "Yeah, listen. I have this little project I'm working on and I heard you were the person to ask."
Willow: "Yeah, that's me. Reliable dog geyser person. What do you need?
Anya: "Oh, it's nothing big. Just a little spell I'm working on."
Willow: "A spell? Oh, I like the black arts."
Anya: "I just need a secondary to create a temporal fold. I heard you were a pretty powerful Wicca, so..."
Willow: "You heard right, mister! I'm always ready to work some dark mojo. So, tell me, is it dangerous?"
Anya: "Oh, no."
Willow: "Well, could we pretend it is?"

Anya: "I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace."
Willow: "Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?"
Anya: "Look, we'll just try it again, and..."
Willow: "No. I think emphatically not."

Anya: "What a day. Give me a beer."
Bartender: "I.D."
Anya: (glares)
Bartender: "I.D."
Anya: "I'm 1120 years old, just give me a frigging beer!"
Bartender: "I.D."
Anya: (sighs) "Give me a Coke."

Anya: "How could you kill her? She was our best shot at getting your world back."
Willow: "I don't like that you dare question me. Maybe I'll have my minions take you out back and kill you horribly."
Anya: "Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth."

Willow: "Okay, let's get to the killing. Why don't we start with her?"
Anya: "Why don't we start with you? If she's a vampire, them I'm the Creature From the Black Lagoon."

"I'm just so tired of being around human beings and all their baggage. I don't care if I ever get my powers back. I think he should eat you." Willow: "This girl has a history of mental problems dating back to early childhood. I'm a blood-sucking fiend. Look at my outfit!"

Willow: "A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this? Aaaaaahhhhh!"
Anya: "Sure, yeah. Humans do that."
Alfonse: Yeah, I think, yeah."

The Prom

Xander: "So, now, how did that work? Women would wish horrible things on their ex-boyfriends, you'd show up and make it happen."
Anya: "That's right. The power of the Wish made me a righteous sword to smite the unfaithful."
Xander: "Well, hey, good luck with that. Hope it works for you."
Anya: "You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species, and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them."
Xander: "Then why are you talking to me?"
Anya: "I don't have a date for the prom."

Anya: "Men are evil. Will you go with me?"
Xander: "One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which."

Anya: "Now I have all these "feelings". I don't understand it. I don't like it. All I know is I really want to go to this dance, and I want someone to go with me."
Xander: "Be still my heart. Oh, wait, it is."

Anya: "Look I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts."
Xander: "Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open."

"She wished her husband's head would explode, which was great, except we were standing three feet from him at the time. What a mess. Of course, you know, during the plague, it was always parts falling off, but... that got pretty old since really they pretty much were anyway..."

Anya: "So then this one time, a girl wished that her ex would cannibalize himself. Even I had a hard time watching that one, let me tell you."
Xander: "Cordelia. Wesley. My god in heaven, it's good to see you. How are you both? And details, please."

Graduation Day, Part 1

Anya: "So, I was wondering, maybe if you're free this weekend, maybe we could do some... entertaining thing."
Xander: "Would that be along the lines of you telling me about all the men you destroyed back in your demon days? 'Cause, pencil me in."

Anya: "We could watch sports of some kind."
Xander: "Uh, I don't know."
Anya: "Men like sports. I'm sure of it."
Xander: "Yes, men like sports. Men watch the action movie. They eat of the beef and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that's all you've learned?"

Anya: "I was there cursing a shepherd who'd been unfaithful. His wife wished that all his sheep would lie-"
Buffy: "Can we cut back to the chase?"

Anya: "I've seen some horrible things in my time and life. I've been the cause of most of them, actually..."

Anya: "You've never seen a demon."
Buffy: "Excuse me - killing them professionally, four years running."

Anya: "When I think that something could happen to you, it feels bad inside, like I might vomit."
Xander: "Welcome to the world of romance."
Anya: "It's horrible. No wonder I used to get so much work."
Xander: "Well, I'm sorry I gave you barfy feelings."

Xander: "I got friends on the line."
Anya: "So?"
Xander: "That humanity thing's still a work in progress, isn't it?"

Anya: "Fine. You know what? I hope you die. Aren't we gonna kiss?"