Willow: "Was if one of those vivid dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?"
Buffy: "It had surround sound."

Buffy: "I'm brainsick. I can't have a relationship with him."
Willow: "Not during the day, but...you could ask him for coffee some night. It's the non-relationship drink of choice. It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter, like a relationship that way, but--"
Xander: "What's 'like a relationship'?"
Buffy: "Nothing I have. Coffee?"
Xander: "Huh?"

"And the little slice of life that still belongs to me from -- I don't know -- seven to seven o'five in the morning, can I do what I want then?"

"Digging on the undead doesn't exactly do wonders for your social life."

Buffy: "Right, who needs a social life when you've got your very own hellmouth?"
Giles: "Yes! You have a duty, a purpose. You have a commitment in life. Now how many people your age can say that?"
Buffy: "We talkin' foreign or domestic? How 'bout none?"

Richard: "Hi, sweetheart. I'm Richard, and you are...?"
Buffy: "So not interested."

Buffy: "And there's blood on it."
Giles: "Oh? I didn't see any."
Buffy: "Angel showed up. He could smell it."
Xander: "The blood? There's a guy you wanna' party with."

Buffy: "I told one lie. I had one drink."
Giles: "Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture."

Halloween

(to Angel): "You're sweet. A terrible liar. But sweet."

Xander: "Sign up and get your own pack of sugar-high little runts for the night."
Buffy: "Yikes, I'll stick to vampires."

"Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight."

"Get gone."

Willow: "Oh, Buffy, Angel would never fall for her act."
Buffy: "You mean that actually showing up, wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene act?"

"You know, there's this place you can go, right, and you sit in the dark, and there are these moving pictures, right, and the pictures tell a story."

Giles: "I'll have you know that I have very, um, many relaxing hobbies."
Buffy: "Such as?"
Giles: "Well, um...I enjoy cross-referencing."
Buffy: "Do you stuff your own shirts or do you send 'em out?"

"So, how come Halloween is such a big yawner? I mean, do the demons just hate how commercial it's become?"

Buffy: "Ms. Calendar said you are a babe!"
Giles: "She said what?"
Buffy: "Um, she said that you are a...hunk of burning...something or other. So, whadda' you think of that?"
Giles: "Um, I don't know. I don't, um...a burning hunk of what?"

"What was I thinking of!? Shame! Shame!"

"She's pretty...coiffed."

Buffy: "You're missing the whole point of Halloween."
Willow: "Free candy?!"

Buffy: "It's 'come as you aren't' night. The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions."
Willow: "Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz."

"I'll show him I can coiff with the best of 'em."

Willow: "But, this just isn't me."
Buffy: "And that's the point. Look, Halloween is the night that not you is you, but not you. You know?"

"I can't wait for the boys to go non-verbal when they see you."

"What did Mrs. Davis give you?"

"She must be stopped."

Buffy: "Surely, he'll not desert us?"
Willow: "Whatever."

Xander: "She must be right. We must have some kind of amnesia."
Buffy: "I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often."

"I was brought up a proper lady. I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me, possibly a baron."

"But, I don't want to go with you. I like the man with the musket! Do you have a musket?"

"Hi, honey! I'm home."

"You know what? It's good to be me."

"I'm just meant to look pretty."

Cordelia: "What's the deal?"
Buffy: "He's a vampire..."
Cordelia: "Angel is a god vampire, he'd never hurt you."

Lie To Me

Xander: "Who's 'friendly'?"
Buffy: "No one."
Willow: "Angel and a girl."
Buffy: "Willow, do we have to be in total share mode?"
Xander: "Hey, it's me. If Angel's doing something wrong, I wanna' know...'cause it gives me a happy."
Buffy: "Hmm, I'm glad someone has a happy."

"This is great--well, I mean, it's hard--sudden move, all your friends, delicate time--but let's talk about me."

"It was terrible. I moped over you for months, sitting in my room, listening to that Divinyls song "I Touch Myself"...of course, I had no idea what it was about."

"Hey, are you busy tonight? We're going to the Bronze. It's the local club and you have to come."

(to Angel)"You drink! I mean, drinks, non-blood things."

Ford: "So, that was your boyfriend?"
Buffy: "No. Uh, yeah. Maybe. Could we lay off the tough questions for a while?"

Ford: "What's goin' on?"
Buffy: "Um, uh, there's a--a cat...a cat, here...and, um, then there was another cat...and they fought...the cats...and...then they left."
Ford: "Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire."
Buffy: "What?! What-ing a what?!"

Buffy: "Are you drinking coffee again, 'cause we've talked about this."
Willow: "Hahaha, ha--it makes me jumpy. I...have to go...away."
Ford: "Nice girl."
Buffy: "There aren't two of those in the world."

Giles: "Oh, uh...right then. Well, um, just remember if you--"
Buffy: "Go! Experience this thing called fun. I'll try not to have a crisis."

Giles: "She was killed by an angry mob in Prague."
Buffy: "Well, they don't make angry mobs like they used to, 'cause this girl's alive."

Buffy: "I'm sorry, Ford. I just couldn't wail 'til tonight. I'm rash and impulsive. It's a flaw."
Ford: "We all have flaws."
Buffy: "I'm still a little fuzzy on exactly what yours is. I think it has to do with being a lying scumbag."

Ford: "I don't think I wanna' talk anymore."
Buffy: "Yeah, well I still feel awfully chatty."

Chanterelle: "This is a beautiful day, can't you see that?"
Buffy: "What I see is that right after the sun goes down, Spike and all of his friends are gonna' be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar."

"I am trying to save you. You are playing in some serious traffic here, do you understand that? You're going to die, and the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now and my God could you have a dorkier outfit?"

"Now you let everybody out, or your girlfriend fits in an ashtray."

Giles: "You mean life?"
Buffy: "Yeah. Does it get easy?"
Giles: "What do you want me to say?"
Buffy: "Lie to me."
Giles: "Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by the pointy horns or black hats. And, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after."
Buffy: "Liar."

The Dark Age

Giles: "Must we have this noise during your calisthenics?"
Buffy: "It's not noise, it's music."
Giles: "I know music. Music has notes. This is noise."
Buffy: "I'm aerobicizing. I must have the beat!"
Giles: "Wonderful. You work on your muscle tone while my brain dribbles out of my ears."

Buffy: "I'm on a beach. Not one of those American beaches. One of those island beaches where the water's way too blue. And I'm laying on my towel, and it's just before sunset, and Gavin Rossdale's massaging my feet."
Willow: "That's good. Uh, I'm in Florence, Italy. I've rented a scooter that's parked outside. I'm in a little restaurant eating ziti. And there are no more tables left, so they have to seat this guy with me, and it's John Cusack!"
Buffy: "Very impressive. You have such an eye for detail."
Willow: "'Cause...with the ziti."

Xander: "Giles lived for school. He's actually still better that there were only twelve grades."
Buffy: "He probably sat in math class thinking, 'There should be more math. This could be mathier.'"
Willow: "Come on, you don't think he ever got restless as a kid?"
Buffy: "Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed."

Buffy: "Hey, good morning. Say, is that tweed?"
Giles: "What? Oh, uh, yes. Um, now, uh, look, tonight, uh, it's very important to come..."
Buffy: "Now that's a surprise."

Buffy: "So, what's on tap tonight that's so important? Uprising, prophesied ritual, preordained death fest?"
Xander: "Ah, the old standards!"
Giles: "Um, a medical transport is delivering a monthly supply of blood to the hospital."
Buffy: "Mmm, vampire meals on wheels."

Giles: "Uh, we'll meet outside the hospital at eight thirty, sharp. I'll bring the weaponry."
Buffy: "I'll bring the party mix."
Giles: "Just don't be late."
Buffy: "Have I ever let you down?"
Giles: "Do you want me to answer that, or should I just glare?"

Xander: "Those poor schlubs, have to attend school on Saturday."
Ms. Calendar: "Nine AM okay with you, Xander?"
Xander: "..."
Buffy: "Got a bit of schlub on your shoe there."

"All's well that ends with cute ER doctors, I always say."

"Since when do doctors take deliveries?"

Buffy: "How did you know about this?"
Angel: "It's delivery day. Everybody knows about this."

Angel: "Maybe he's late."
Buffy: "Giles, who counts tardiness as the eighth deadly sin?"

"Giles, did you forget? The hospital, vampires, handy carry-out packets of blood?"

Buffy: "I think he might have been...I think he was drinking."
Ms. Calendar: "He was home alone drinking?"
Willow: "But...tea, right?"
Buffy: "Wasn't tea, Will."

Buffy: "You sold me that dress for Halloween and nearly got us all killed."
Ethan: "But you looked great."

Buffy: "What are you doing here."
Ethan: "Snooping around."
Buffy: "Honesty. Nice touch."
Ethan: "It's one of my virtues...not really."

Cordelia: "What about me? I care about Giles."
Buffy: "Work with Xander."
Cordelia: "Well, when I say 'care', I-I mean..."
Buffy: "Cordelia?"
Cordelia: "Okay, okay."

Buffy: "It's okay. I'm not much into running."
Ethan: "Aren't we manly?"
Buffy: "One of us is. You're gonna' hide 'til it's over."
Ethan: "Excellent plan!"

Ethan: "You know, I hope you're not taking it personally, Buffy. I actually kind of like, it's ju--it's just that I like myself a lot more. If you think of it karmically, this is, this is really big for your soul, you know. Taking my place for the demon, giving so that others may live."
Buffy: "I'm gonna' kill you. Will that blow the whole Karma thing?"

"Winner and still champion."

Xander: "Uh, I think that Ethan guy disappeared again."
Buffy: "Darn, I really wanted to hit him 'til he bled."

"You know what the worst thing is? I was saving up for some very important shoes, and now I have to blow my entire allowance to get this stupid tattoo removed."

Buffy: "Hey, maybe you should consider a career as a Watcher."
Willow: "Oh, no, I don't think I could handle the stress."
Xander: "And the dental plan is crap."

Buffy: "Is she okay?"
Giles: "Um, the hills are not alive."
Buffy: "I'm sorry to hear that...I think."

Buffy: "I'm so used to you being the grown-up, and then I find out you're a person."
Giles: "Well, most grown-ups are."
Buffy: "Who would've thought?"

Buffy: "I have just the perfect music. Go on, say it, you know you want to."
Giles: "It's not music, it's just, uh, meaningless sounds."
Buffy: "There. Feel better?"
Giles: "Yes, thanks. Bay City Rollers, now that's music."
Buffy: "I didn't hear that."