
Season Two
When She Was Bad
Buffy: "So, is this a social call? It is kinda' late...or, well, it is for me,
anyway. What is it for you, lunch hour?"
Angel: "It's not a social call."
Buffy: "Ah, so let me guess. That means grave danger. Gosh, it's good to be home."
Angel: "I'm sorry, I wish I had better news."
Buffy: "So, some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue, and we're
all on the menu."
Some Assembly Required
Angel: "Is this a bad time?"
Buffy: "Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make
noise when you walk. You stomp or yodel."
Angel: "'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer."
Buffy: "Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance,
which I only did to make you crazy. By the way, behold my success."
Angel: "See? Whenever we fight, you always bring up the vampire thing."
Buffy: "Well, I didn't come here to fight!"
Angel: "Cordelia told me the truth."
Xander: "Ha ha! That's gotta' be a first."
Angel: "We found some of them."
Buffy: "You mean, like, two of the three?"
Angel: "I mean, like, some of them. Like parts."
Cordelia: "It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm."
School Hard
Angel: "Once he starts something, he doesn't stop, until everything in his path
is dead."
Xander: "Hmm, so he's thorough, goal-oriented."
Spike: "Come up against this Slayer yet?"
Angel: "She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy dog, 'I'm all tortured'
act. Keeps her off my back when I feed."
Spike: "Ha ha! People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!"
Xander: "I knew you were lying. Undead...liar guy."
Angel: "I had to see if he was buying it or not."
Xander: "And if he bit me, what then?"
Angel: "We would have known he bought it."
Xander: "What's the deal with you being his sire? What's a sire?"
Reptile Boy
Angel: "This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from
a deep sleep and live happily ever after."
Buffy: "No. When you kiss me, I wanna' die."
Xander: "Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around
to that freak? Hey, man, how ya' doin'?"
Angel
Halloween
Angel: "What's going on?"
Cordelia: "They all have amnesia and they don't know who they are. . . How are
you?"
Angel: "Stake!"
Buffy: "What?"
Angel: "Get me a stake!"
Angel: "I hated the girls back then, especially the noblewomen."
Buffy: "You did?"
Angel: "They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons. The lot of them."
Lie To Me
Angel: "Unless you invite me, I can't come in."
Willow: "Oh, well, okay, I...invite you...to...come in."
Angel: "I guess I need help."
Willow: "Help? You mean, like on homework? No, 'cause...you're old, and you
already know stuff."
Angel: "I want you track someone down...on the 'net."
Willow: "Oh, great! I'm so the 'net girl."
"Things used to be pretty simple. Hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty,
really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous."
Willow: "I still didn't find anything incriminating."
Angel: "They leave no paper trail, no records. That's incriminating enough."
Xander: "Yeah, I'm gonna' have to go with Dead Boy on this one."
Angel: "Would you not call me that?"
The Dark Age
Buffy: "How did you know about this?"
Angel: "It's delivery day. Everybody knows about this."
Angel: "Maybe he's late."
Buffy: "Giles, who counts tardiness as the eighth deadly sin?"
Angel: "I've had a demon inside me for a couple hundred years...just waiting
for a good fight."
Buffy: "Winner and still champion."
What's My Line,
Part 1
Angel: "Buffy. You scared me."
Buffy: "Now you know what it feels like, Stealth Guy."
Angel: "I wanted to make sure you were okay. I had a bad feeling."
Buffy: "There's a surprise. Angel comes with bad news."
Buffy: "We're having this thing at school."
Angel: "Career week?"
Buffy: "How did you know?"
Angel: "I lurk."
Buffy: "I wish we could be regular kids."
Angel: "I'll never be a kid."
Buffy: "Okay then, a regular kid and her cradle-robbin', creature-of-the-night
boyfriend."
Willy: "I'm livin' right, Angel."
Angel: "Sure you are, Willy...and I'm takin' up sunbathing."
Angel: "You know, I'm a little rusty when it comes to killing humans. It could
take a while."
What's My Line,
Part 2
Spike: "I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show."
Angel: "Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall."
Ted
Buffy: "So Mom's like, "Do you think Ted will like this?" and "This is Ted's favorite
show," and "Ted's teaching me computers," and "Ted said the funniest thing," and
I'm like, "That's really great, Mom," and then she said I was being sarcastic,
which I was, but I'm sorry if I don't talk about Ted all the time."
Angel: "So you're gonna' talk about something else at some point?"
Angel: "Kiss me."
Buffy: "Finally, something I wanna' do."
Bad Eggs
Angel: "I'll hunt."
Buffy: "Really? You'd do that?"
Angel: "Not like I have an early day tomorrow."
Surprise
Buffy: "I like seeing you first thing in the morning."
Angel: "It's bedtime for me."
Buffy: "Well, then I like seeing you at bedtime. Um, um, ha...you-you know what
I mean."
Angel: "I think so. What do you mean?"
Angel: "They call him the Judge."
Giles: "The Judge? This is he?"
Angel: "Not all of him."
Angel: "I could catch a cargo ship to Asia and maybe truck to Nepal..."
Buffy: "You know, those new-fangled flying machines really are much safer than
they used to be."
Giles: "Seems Buffy needed some rest."
Angel: "Yeah, she hasn't been sleeping well, tossing and turning."
Everyone: "..."
Angel: "She told me! 'Cause of her dreams?"
Angel: "Leave her alone!"
Spike: "Yeah, that'll work. Now say 'Pretty please'."
Angel: "Take me instead of her."
Spike: "Uh, you're not clear on the concept, pal. There is no instead. Just first
and second."
"I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop."
Innocence
Spike: "Do you know what happens to Angel?"
Angel: "Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. Tough
sledding, but one day, he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her
ankle."
Angel: "As long as there's injustice in the world. As long as scum, like you,
is walking--haha, rolling the streets, I'll be around. Look over your shoulder.
I'll be there."
Spike: "Um, yeah. Angel, look over your shoulder."
Spike: "Hurts, doesn't it?"
Angel: "Well, you know, kind of itches a little."
Spike: "Don't just stand there. Burn him!"
Angel: "Gee, maybe he's broken."
Judge: "There's no humanity in him."
Angel: "Couldn't have said it better myself."
Drusilla: "Angel!"
Angel: "Yeah, baby. I'm back."
Spike: "No more of this 'I've got a soul' crap?"
Angel: "What can I say, hmm? I was going through a phase."
Drusilla: "How did this happen?"
Angel: "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
Angel: "Yeah. Destroying the world. Great. But I'm really more interested in the
Slayer."
Spike: "Well, she's in the world, so that should work out."
Angel: "She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you
just forgive."
"Yeah, like I really wanted to stick around after that."
"You've got a lot to learn about men, kiddo, although I guess you proved that
last night."
Buffy: "It is a big deal!"
Angel:"It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, the dulcet choir of pretty little
birdies? Come on, Buffy! It's not like I've never been there before."
Xander: "Don't do that!"
Angel: "Oh, I think I'd do that."
Jenny: "He's not Angel anymore. Are you?"
Angel: "Wrong. I am Angel. At last."
Angel: "I got a message for Buffy."
Buffy: "Then why don't you give it to me yourself."
Angel: "Oh, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves
finding the bodies of all your friends."
Buffy: "This can't be you."
Angel: "I'm sure we already covered that subject."
Buffy: "Leave Willow alone and deal with me."
Angel: "But she's so cute and helpless. Really a turn-on."
"Things are about to get very interesting."
Spike: "So you didn't kill her, then?"
Angel: "Of course not."
Spike: "Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but we still
do kill people. Sort of our raison d'etre, you know."
Angel: "To kill this girl, you have to love her."
Spike: "What happens if your girlfriend shows up?"
Angel: "I'm gonna' give her a kiss."
Angel: "Don't you look spiffy?"
Judge: "'Spiffy'?"
"The important thing is, you made me the man I am today."
Angel: "You can't do it. You can't kill me."
Buffy: "Give me time."
Bewitched, Bothered
and Bewildered
Drusilla: "Oh, Angel, it's still warm."
Angel: "I knew you'd like it. I found it in a quaint little shopgirl."
Angel: "Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards."
Spike: "Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression."
Angel: "Lacks...poetry."
Spike: "It doesn't have to. What rhymes with 'lungs'?"
Xander: "Good. The mob still hasn't found us. We should be safer up here."
Angel: "Works in theory."
"This does not amuse."
"Sorry, Dru, you've not been invited"
Passion
"Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden,
it will stir. Open it's jaws, and howl."
"It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice
do we have?"
Spike: "I won't have you feeding me like a child, Dru!"
Angel: "Why not? Already bathes ya', carries ya' around and changes ya' like a
child."
Angel: "Well, maybe next time, I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to
have you around if I ever need a really good parking space."
Spike: "Have you forgotten that you're a bloody guest in my bloody home?"
Angel: "And as a guest, if there's anything I can do for you...any responsibility
I can assume while you're spinning your wheels...anything I'm not already doing,
that is."
"You know what I hate most about these things? That they're so damn fragile. Must
be that shoddy gypsy craftsmanship, huh?"
Angel: "'The ritual of restoration.' Huh, well, this-this brings back memories."
Jenny: "Wait, that's your--" Angel: "Oh, my cure? No thanks. Been there, done
that. Deja vu just isn't what it used to be."
"Looks like I get to kill two birds with one stone...and teacher makes three."
"Oh good, I need to work up an appetite first."
"Sorry, Jenny, this is where you get off."
"I never get tired of doing that."
"Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of
hatred, and the ecstasy of grief."
"Don't worry, Roller Boy, I've got everything under control."
"Jeez, whatever happened to wooden stakes?"
Angel: "All right, you've had your fun. But you know what it's time for now?"
Buffy: "My fun."
"It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we can live without passion, maybe
we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and
dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead."
Killed By Death
Xander: "Buffy, this is not the time to challenge Angel for the Ultimate Fighting
Championship. He's at full strength. You're only half a Slayer."
Buffy: "Yeah, but I'm still the Slayer. And as long as I am, Angel's not going
to kill anybody else."
Angel: "Oh, come on. Just one more."
Angel: "Not feeling well, lover?"
Buffy: "That helps."
"You know, you being off your game's kind of taking the fun out of all this."
"Nope, still fun!"
"Uh oh, this does not look good for our heroine."
Xander: "Visiting hours are over."
Angel: "Well, I'm pretty much family."
Xander: "Yeah, why don't you come back during the day? Oh, gee, no, I guess you
can't."
I Only Have Eyes For You
Spike: "It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want
the sunlight to kill us."
Angel: "You don't like it Spike, hit the stairs and go. Take a stand, man!"
"Things change, Spikey. You gotta' roll with the punches. Well, actually, you've
pretty much got that part down."
Drusilla: "I'll sleep naked. Like the animals."
Angel: "You know, I'm suddenly liking this plan."
"Incoming! I love when she does this."
"With you being special needs boy, I figure I should stay close to home. You and
Dru could always use another pair of hands."
"Fun fact about wasps. They have no taste for the undead."
Buffy: "You're the only one. The only one I could talk to."
Angel: "Gosh, Buff....that's really pathetic."
Angel: "I'm the one who was freakin' violated. You didn't have this thing in you."
Drusilla: "What was it? A demon?"
Angel: "Love."
Drusilla: "Poor Angel."
"I'm sure he'd be hell on wheels, but we don't have much time. Gotta' travel light."
Angel: "Try to have fun without me."
Spike: "Oh I will. Sooner than you think."
Go Fish
Gage: "What a psycho bitch, man."
Angel: "Gotta be talking about Buffy.
"You're in luck, my friend. Just so happens, I'm recruiting."
"Why, Miss Summers, you're beautiful."
Becoming - Part 1
Angel: "Where are you from?"
Darla: "Around. Everywhere."
Angel: "You can see all that in your head?"
Spike: "No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper."
"I'll have one of these to go."
"Dru, save me some."
"Acathla turned to stone, as demons sometimes do, and was buried where neither
man nor demon would want to look...unless, of course, they're putting up low-rent
housing."
Spike: "Let me guess. Someone pulls out the sword..."
Angel: "Someone worthy."
Spike: "...the demon wakes up, and wackiness ensues."
"My friends, we're about to make history...end."
Angel: "I don't understand you."
Whistler: "Nobody understands me. That's my curse."
Angel: "I wanna' learn from you."
Whistler: "All right."
Angel: "But I don't wanna' dress like you."
Angel: "I wasn't sure you'd come."
Buffy: "After your immolation-o-gram? Come on, I had to show. Shouldn't you be
out destroying the world right now, pulling the sword out of Al Franken or whatever
his name is?"
Angel: "You are the one thing in this dimension I will miss."
Buffy: "This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight?"
Angel: "Gosh, I was hoping we could get back together. What do you think, do we
have a shot?"
Buffy: "..."
Angel: "All right, we'll fight."
Angel: "Maybe I'll just go home, destroy the world."
Buffy: "Yeah, I think Mr. Pointy will have something to say about that."
"You never learn, do you? This wasn't about you. This was never about you. And
you fall for it every single time!"
Becoming - Part 2
Giles: "What do you want?"
Angel: "I want to torture you. I used to love it. It's been a long time. I mean,
the last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even have chain saws."
"You could probably tell me what I'm doing wrong. But, honestly, I sort of hope
you don't...'cause I really want to torture you."
Giles: "In order...to be worthy...you must perform the ritual...in a tutu. Pillock!"
Angel: "All right, someone get the chain saw."
"Keep out of it, Sit-n-Spin!"
Spike: "Uh, Drusilla..."
Angel: "Honey..."
Spike: "We are finished here, ducks."
Drusilla: "Sorry. I was in the moment."
Angel: "My boy Acathla here is about to wake up. You're going to Hell."
Buffy: "Save me a seat."