"Are You Now or Have You Ever Been"
Bellhop: Guy gives me the heebie jeebies. Say, how about instead of this
bill, I deliver an eviction notice?
Hotel Manager: We can not evict residents on the grounds of the heebie
jeebies. Now, if we did, we'd have to shut down.
Hotel Manager: This is the third one in as many months. Why can't they
ever do it in their own homes, for god's sakes?
Bellhop: I should've seen it comin'. Guy did seem pretty depressed.
Hotel Manager: Oh really? How could you tell?
Bellhop: Kinda cheap though. The deathwishers usually tip better, like
they know they're not gonna take it with them anyway.
Actor: Are all screenwriters this crass?
Blacklisted Writer: Are all actors this naive?
Hotel Manager: What took you so long?
Bellhop: He wouldn't fit.
Hotel Manager: What? What'd you do with him?
Bellhop: He's in there. I just had to sorta, you know, what do you call
it, make him fit. No chance I can get in trouble for that, is there?
Blacklisted Writer: Maybe he saw you with one of your little trysts.
Maybe he threatened to tell the studio. Expose, perhaps, your little peccadilloes
to the press.
Actor: Don't you dare use alliteration with me, you hack!