"Judgement"


Gunn: You should probably go home now [guy runs off] Uh. You're welcome!
Angel: People nowadays. Would it kill 'em to say thank you?

Angel: You well?
Gunn: Picture of health and harmony. Look at you, dog. You haven't aged a bit.
Angel: I've got a situation.
Gunn: So much for the small talk.

Angel: You ever hear of a Preomotu?
Gunn: That like the '62 Chevy with the big cam? Alright, I coulda just said no.

Gunn: He was on our side?
Angel: Yeah.
Gunn: Well, did you find the scumbag who killed him?
Angel: I'm the scumbag who killed him.
Gunn: Oh.

Gunn: You gonna hang here and soak up the guilt?

Cordelia: Who is it?
Gunn: Gunn.
Wesley: What was that?
Cordelia: Something about a gun. What if it's a demon with a gun!?
Wesley: Listen up. Whoever you are. We're well-armed and we know how to do battle, so if you know what's good for you...
Cordelia: My name is Gunn. Angel sent me.

Cordelia: Wesley, you've heard Angel talk about Gun. He's a great guy with a really fly street tag.
Wesley: What's he fly?
Cordelia: It's how they know you on the street, dorko. Gun! It really let's you know you mean business.
Gunn: It's my name. Charles Gunn. Two N's.

Cordelia: It's nice to finally meet.
Gunn: I've seen you before.
Cordelia: Really? The Tan-n-Screen commercials!
Gunn: I saw you in bed.
Cordelia: What?!
Wesley: I can see this is none of my business.
Gunn: You, too.
Wesley: Now just a moment!

Gunn: This all the cases you got goin'? Well isn't this the well-oiled machine?
Cordelia: We set 'em up; we knock 'em down. Well, we did until Angel knocked down the wrong...I'm sure he's getting on top of it now.

 


"Are You Now or Have You Ever Been"

Wesley: Orb of Ramjarin!
Gunn: "Orb of Ramjarin, please," makes it happen.

Wesley: Please. And do be careful. Ancient conjuring orbs are notoriously fragile.
Gunn: [Tosses Orb at Wes]
Wesley: ANGEL!

Cordelia: Are we finished?
Angel: Think so.
Cordelia: Good. Because I, for one, will be glad to see the last of this place. Gives me the heebie jeebies.
Gunn: No lie. Plus, it's kinda got an odor to it, you notice that?
Cordelia: Seventy years of violence, mayhem, and paranoia? Bad vibes.
Angel: We're moving in.
Cordelia: I mean, a few throw pillows -- what's not to love?


"First Impressions"

Gunn: Where's Angel?
Cordelia: I believe the word is, "hello."
Gunn: Yeah? Cuz I thought, "where's Angel" summed it up.

Cordelia: He's still sleeping.
Gunn: Sleepin'? It's 3:30 in the afternoon. I been up since dawn.
Cordelia: (to Wesley) Sort of missing the whole Creature of the Night angle, isn't he?

Gunn: Could one of you go in there and knock on his coffin?
Cordelia: He doesn't *use* a coffin. And maybe you've never heard the expression "Let sleeping vampires lie"?

Cordelia: Maybe we can help.
Gunn: You two? I find Deevak, I'm gonna need more than C3PO and Stick Figure Barbie backin' me up, no offense.
Wesley: Very little taken.

Cordelia: I was just trying to help you.
Gunn: Thanks for the help. Always enhances a guy's rep when some skinny white beauty queen comes to his rescue -- in front of his crew!

Thanks for coming, buckle up, drive safe. (beat) Where's your car?

Cordelia: You're just gonna ask them to give it back?
Gunn: I'll say please.
Cordelia: Oh! I forgot! You'll use your famous charm, like you did this afternoon with that pigeon stool.

Gunn: You don't have a clue why I do things I do.
Cordelia: Paging Mr. Rationalization!
Gunn: Paging Miss About to Be Thrown Out of a Moving Vehicle!

Cordelia: You need protection.
Gunn: And how exactly do you plan on protecting me -- with some weak-ass, lady smith battle axe?
Cordelia: Ask Joey and his cracked skull just how "weak-ass" it is.

Gunn: Mace?
Cordelia: To squirt, squirt -- right in the eyes.
Gunn: You expecting me to be jumped by a couple of purse-snatching demons?

Cordelia: I'm your protector whether you like it or not.
Gunn: This thing better attack me soon, cuz I *know* I can't take much more of this.

Gunn: New acquisitions are in the garage.
Cordelia: Getting the full make over, I bet.

Cordelia: Are you friends with, like, every criminal in town?
Gunn: Now, see, there you go assuming those brothers are criminals.
Cordelia: Aren't they?
Gunn: You mean like your friend David Nabbit? You think he became a billionaire by being a good citizen?
Cordelia: Actually, he did. He made his first millions developing software that lets blind people surf the Web. Plus, he set up a foundation that donates $20 million a year to countless charitable causes.
Gunn: Yeah, well you let me know when some of that corn trickles down to these parts.
Cordelia: Take it easy.
Gunn: I can't take it easy. I can never take it easy. Not for a second, all right? The minute I forget that, somebody like Alonna pays the price.
Cordelia: Alonna?
Gunn: (pause) Veronica. I can't stop. I can't ever stop.

Gunn: You drive it out of here; I'll follow you home.
Cordelia: Just as soon as find the keys.

Gunn: You know, I gotta tell you. You are one high-maintenance chick.
Cordelia: The keys are here. Somewhere.
Gunn: You are *killin'* me.
Cordelia: Can't you, you know, hot wire it?
Gunn: Just cuz I know some car thieves doesn't mean I am one.
Cordelia: Hey, instead of being High Moral Ground Guy, why don't you help me find them?
Deevak: How touching. A woman willing to die with her man.
Cordelia: Oh, no. He's not my man. He's just a friend. And...about the willing to die part?

You must be Deevak. They told me you was ugly, but damn.

Gunn: Well, you finally saved my life. I guess I should say thanks.
Cordelia: Yes, you should.


"Untouched"


You call; I come. Loaded for bear. Ready for battle. Somethin' else that starts with "B."

Gunn: Isn't this the thing? Some the kids in my camp put it together for me. Thought I might get the chance to stick it in somethin' tonight.
Cordelia: Men are all alike.

Gunn: Fair Cordelia. You still savin' my life?
Cordelia: Every minute.
Gunn: How's that workin' out?
Cordelia: You're alive aren't you?

You got it. But if I come back her on the end of a spatula, I'm expectin' some *serious* workman's comp.

Knock, knock! See this works great. You break; I enter.

I'm still dealing with this man's ugly-ass living room set. Some people just shouldn't have money.

Gunn: Are you offering to pay me for helping you?
Angel: Yeah.
Gunn: Cool.

You're a very graceful man. Have I ever mentioned that?






"Dear Boy"



You are not payin' me enough for this.

Gunn: My Uncle Theo always said, "Never buy a dull plow, and never get in the middle of a religious war."
Cordelia: Do you really have an Uncle Theo?
Gunn: Nah. But it's still good advice.

Angel, I'll try to get fat head. Watch my back! Or, just keep beating on that big guy.

Gunn: So this whole teamwork deal. That's a thing of the past now?
Angel: Job got done.

Wesley: He hasn't been sleeping well lately.
Cordelia: He's off his game.
Gunn: Since when is it a game?

Cordelia: It's not like he turns evil every time he gets this cranky.
Gunn: He turns evil?

Gunn: As evil blood-suck vampires go, how would you rate Angelus?
Wesley: Historically, as bad as they come. Especially when he was with his sire, Darla.
Cordelia: We're researching her now to see if she has some kind of resurrection powers. Maybe she's a vampire cat with nine lives!

Gunn: So, he and Darla together, bad combo.
Wesley: They rampaged through half the known world, until Angel got his soul.
Cordelia: Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had 150 years to get it right.

Gunn: There's nothing I respect more than loyalty.
Wesley: That's good to hear.
Gunn: But if the bad Angel walks through that door, I will kill him in two seconds flat.


Kate: Disturbing the peace, resisting arrest, GTA, assault -- you've led a rich, full life, haven't you Charles?
Gunn: I get around.

Kate: I know he hasn't changed.
Gunn: No. He hasn't. He's still a vampire.
Cordelia: Gunn! Not helping!

 


"Guise Will Be Guise"


Gunn: How'd you get in?
Wesley: We used the door.
Gunn: And they just let you in?
Cordelia: (donning glasses) Hello! Lawyer!

Cordelia: Still with the Darla of it.
Wesley: Did you encourage this?
Gunn: I'm just goin' along for the ride.
Cordelia: It's going to be a pretty short ride. They have vampire detectors.
Gunn: We know. It's cool. He's got a plan.
Wesley: A plan?
Angel: Yeah, I get to the office before they stop me.
Gunn: See. What? That's the plan? Walking real quick was the plan?

Angel: I'm not insane or angry. (Elevator doors open. Angel skewers guard's foot clear through with his stake.)
Gunn: Man, that's nasty.
Angel: Maybe I am a little angry.

Gunn: Okay, what I wanna know is, how I live in LA all my life and not know this weird-ass stuff was going on?
Cordelia: Oh, the ass is even weirder than you think.




"Darla"




Gunn: Big law firm. They gotta have housing for the out-of-towners, right?
Wesley: "Out-of-towners"? It's not as if they flew her in from Miami. She was raised from the very depths of hell by an ancient and dangerous ritual.
Gunn: Yeah? And? They still gotta put her up don't they?

Cordelia: What happened? Did someone break in?
Gunn: Well, us.
Cordelia: You guys did this? Real mature.
Wesley: It was like this when we found it. No evidence of forced entry.
Gunn: Well, not before we got there, anyway.

 

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